Darkness Remains ( Vampire Academy Fanfict )

09 - There are still side affects

I was in the darkness. In the wild. The full moon my only source of light. I was shivering from the cold wind that was hitting my bare hands. And what was most disturbing, I was wearing the same clothes I wore when we were on the run, when we took Jill from the brothers, when I killed Victor Dashkov. 

Shivers down my spine were sent almost immediately when I had that thought. I was now running. Running as fast as I can from those thoughts. I couldn't control my feet.

But then, I stopped. I was in shock of what I was seeing.

He was lying on the ground, his eyes open and a blood puddle next to his head. He was dead. He was left just like I left him when I bashed his head of the floor.

My eyes were filling with tears, I started running again, but then I tripped over something falling to the ground. Looking up in the black clouds. But that wasn't the only thing. I had a voice in my head.

"I will find you and I will take my revenge for what you did."

Robert.

Then I opened my eyes. It was a spirit dream. Robert was the one creating it.

Don't play the victim to circumstances you created. Rhonda's voice was now in my head. Is everyone going to find out that I killed him. 

Please don't let it mean that.

I would risk Lissa's life with that.

"Roza." Was the first word that I heard and I instantly knew it was the person I love the most, my soulmate, my Russian God. His thick accent making me shiver as his touch burned my bare skin.

"Hey there. You okay?" I said looking into those chocolate brown eyes and drowning in the sweetness of them.

"Yes I am. But I don't think that you're the one that should ask that question." His eyes now showed sorrow and worry and I lowered my head. I can't look at him in the eye and lie that everything is okay. I can't do that anymore. I couldn't. we promised to each other no more secrets, yet look how many there are. "What happened?"

I couldn't answer. I couldn't bring myself to open my mouth and say everything that happened, and in the same time it was too much to say that I'm fine. I don't want him to worry, but I need his help. I can't do this alone.

"Roza. Please. Talk to me." He took my cold hand into his warm ones. His voice broke my heart to a million pieces. Why am I doing this to him? Why is he still here, for starters? I don't deserve to have him, he deserves someone who can give him what he wants, a family.

Stop this. It's the darkness, it's spirits side affect!

I-I..um." I looked down.

I can't do this!

No. That's the spirit talking. Just like Mark said, you can do it.

"I had a nightmare. So I decided to go out for a run. While I was running I bumped into Oksana and she invited me to her house. We were talking and all of a sudden she touched my shoulder and made me stop. We were both paralyzed and I was losing my consciousness but Mark came and took her away from me. I um somehow was..." I didn't finish the sentence. i just stopped and lowered my head even more if that was possible. That might not have been the whole truth but for now it's enough. I looked at him and he was still wearing the same sorrow and helplessness in his eyes.

"You were what?" He asked softly. He was so calm, it relaxed me. i let out a breath that I didn't knew i was holding and ended that sentence.

"I was taking her darkness away and into me." I felt a squeeze on my hand. Then I saw Mark at the doorway, he looked proud that I told him. But he must have just came, because unfortunately Mark would have noticed that I skipped the part why I went to their house.