MarkiplierXreader smut (DISCONTINUED!!)

Chapter 13: Twisted love

We both fell asleep in each others arms peacefully but we still heard Sean's moans. Mark fell asleep before me but i couldn't sleep. I couldn't shake the twisted though from my head that this all started from a bit of teasing. I only knew him for a couple days and i already slept with him. I let him take something very valuable from me. Am i a slut for this? Is this wrong? I have had a bad past. I am mentally scarred, yet he is still here for me. I said i love him. I shouldn't love him yet. I didn't say 'i love you for your looks and dick' i said 'i love you'. I didn't say 'I'm only here for your sex and house and fame, then i'm out after i get what i want' i said 'i love you'. Because i do. Sean stopped moaning but i heard a few rages here and there, i assumed he was still awake, lemme talk to him. I mean who is he suppose to tell? He lives in Ireland. I slowly got up from the bed trying not to wake Mark. I slowly tippy-toed out of the room and opened the door quietly. I walked out of the room and started walking normally over to the guest bedroom. I curled my fingers into a fist as i stood in front of his door and banged my fist a bit on his door, still trying to be quiet. "Come in" Sean said in a slightly hushed tone. I turned the door nob to the left and pushed the door open a bit. "Can we talk Sean? i have a lot on my mind and i can't sleep" "Of course" I walked over to the bed he was sitting on and sat on the edge turning towards him. "What's up?" "So uh... I'm still in high school and uh Mark wa-is my teacher, and um he invited me over for the weekend and the day before you go here he took my virginity and uh and like before we-he went to bed he said i love you to me and i said it back and i don't know if i love him but i do and just iuhuuh" "First of all, i wont tell anyone, because i know it's illegal, but you are 18 right?" "mhm" "Okay second of all, do you think you love him if you let him take your virginity?" "I dunno" "Okayyy... ummm well what was going through your head when you guys were.. ya know" "In my mind all i could think was 'wow he is great, i love him- s-so much' oh god.." "Hey it's okay, third of all, what were your first thoughts on him" "my first thoughts were 'fuck he is familiar, and hot' uh this is embarrassing" "Don't worry about it, he is pretty hot" Sean said with a slight chuckle. "My birthday was yesterday.. so he invited me over so we could have a nice dinner and cake, but uhh i guess we took it a little too far, and like he is like 9 years older than me and i know it's wrong and it's - it's-it-it's TWISTED ISN'T IT?" i said with a tear rolling down my face. "heyheyheyheyhey shh it's okayy" Sean said pulling me into a warm embrace as he wiped my tears away. "So uh like the thing that happened like an hour ago, was only your second time?" "Y-y-ye-ye-yea" i started crying more and more as Sean held me tight in the embrace. "I' a slut aren't i? I'm disgusting, a whore! A big ugly fat slu-" "STOP NOW. NO YOU ARE NOT. YOU ARE A YOUNG GIRL WHO FELL FOR A GUY AND THERE IS NOTHING I REPEAT NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU- sorry for yelling" "Hm what a time to apologize for yelling" "shut up!" he said nudging my arm a bit. we started playing games a bit until we heard footsteps, but kept playing. We heard a knock on the door. "COME INNNNNNN!" Mark opened the door and looked annoyed with Sean's response. "Did you HAVE TO FUCKING YELL?" 'Yep!" "Hey (y/n) what are you doing in here?" "I couldn't sleep so i thought i could play some games with Sean" "Oh okay" I looked over at Sean next to me and he was leaning in about to whisper something. "Tell him how you feel, he will understand." Sean whispered. "STOP TALKING SHIT!" "WE'RE NOT DIPSHIT" i love it when they argue, it's cute i giggled to myself. I stood up and walked over to Mark leaning against the door frame, watching my every move. "I gotta talk to you Mark" "mkay,  lets go" With that we left the room and went to Mark's room. "What's shakin' bacon?" "I just-i just- i don't know if i love you. I know in my mind i do but i don't want to believe it. You make me feel so-so happy and so loved- and like i dunno. I also can't believe i let you take my virginity- i mean that-that's- like a big deal. i- du-dunno" "Hey, it's okay i understand. I should've double checked if you were ready for something like that. If you are not ready to start saying the big 'L' word, then that's fine, i know how you feel, you think things are moving a bit fast and that's fine." "I think my period is messing with my brain" "Probably haha" "Thank you for understanding, It's not that i don't love you, i just don't know if i'm ready for this madness, also don't worry about taking my virginity, i'm sure i wanted that." he let out a small chuckle before placing a small kiss on my forehead and going back to sleep. I'm glad i got that out. I really needed it, and i'm glad he understood. I'm tired but i can still hear Sean. I let out a small groan before getting up and leaving the room once more. I knocked in a pattern,until i heard Sean's loud voice. "Could you keep it down, we are trying to sleep, which you should be doing right now" "Whatever MOM" with that i walked out and went back into bed falling asleep in Mark's arms.