The Attic

Chapter 08: Break

Raiden's POV:

12 hours.

Or was it a day? A week? A month?

No, Raiden. Keep your head clear. You've been here for only one sunrise. Calm down.

Unless he was screwing with time in my head...

No. Stop. You're making too big of a deal out of this. You haven't even seen him enough for that to happen.

...Right?

Right. Keep that straight.

Well, at least he was leaving me alone.

I didn't know if I should be relieved or worried.

Maybe he was going to let me go? Or maybe he was trying to unnerve me. Yeah, that was probably it.

No, that was just me being to paranoid. That's what I get for watching too many dramas.

...

So, first he would try to unnerve me. Then he'd start messing with my head. I'd develop a warped sense of time. He'd make me depend on him for everything. He'd make me forget everything from before. My name. My age. My family. The people still looking for me. He'd make me lose all hope.

I should start repeating everything so I don't forget. That's what you're supposed to do, right?

I took a deep breath and set my head between my knees. No. That wasn't necessary.

...

But it wouldn't hurt either, I guess.

My name is Raiden Loeffler. I'm sixteen years old. I have two parents who love me very much. Turner is searching for me. I will be found.

I can't forget. I won't let myself forget.

The trap door groaned noisily as it was once again unfolded from down below. The taunting smell of bacon and who knows what else wafted up the stairs along with Adam. Each small step was purposeful, but I was still too fixated on the smell of food.

How long had it been since I'd eaten? Well, I hadn't had anything since being abducted and I was too nervous to eat supper the day before. I had lunch at about...1 in the afternoon, I think. So, what? About 19 hours? No. That can't be right. There's no possible way that's right.

Adam sleepily sauntered closer to the mattress. He stopped a step or two in front of me and rubbed his eyes with a small yawn. "Good morning, Rai."

I tilted my head to the side and rested it on my knees, refusing to acknowledge him. Maybe if he got pissed enough with me, he'd let me go back.

"Raiden. When I talk to you, I expect a response. So, again, good morning, Rai."

"Fuck you," I mumbled.

Instead of reacting, he sat down next to me and tried pulling me closer like he'd tried the day before.

"Let go of me," I protested with a growl.

He ignored me. Again, I pushed back.

"Adam, stop!"

Somehow, I managed to get him off of me.

As he headed back down the stairs, he made sure I heard him warn me that if my mood didn't improve, he would start hurting me.

Yeah, right. Like he'd have the nerve. That was one bluff I could easily call.

...

But what if he wasn't bluffing? What did he mean by 'hurt?' Like, physical? Was he going to beat me? I was pretty sure I could take that if it came down to it. Well...maybe...

Was he going to hurt my family? Trying to hurt me indirectly?

Or maybe he changed his mind. Maybe he had decided to rape me after all...

Oh, God, let that not be the case. Please.

My growling stomach brought up a new thought: maybe he was starving me.

I had already figured it had been 19 hours since I'd eaten, and he hadn't shown any sign of attempting to feed me. Surely he wasn't going to let me die...right?

Right. No. He wouldn't let me die. He was just upset that I wasn't doing exactly as he wanted. So if I just let him touch me when he comes up-

No. I can't give in to him.

But...

No.

But what if I tried it? Just once. If he demonstrates a desirable outcome, then maybe—just maybe—I'll continue. If he doesn't, then I won't have to do it again.

Just once...

I waited for him patiently. Well, not patiently per se... But I waited. And without breaking anything or having a mental breakdown. That's a win for me.

10 minutes later (or 20, 30, an hour, 3 hours maybe. I still wouldn't trust my sense of time) Adam came back up the stairs and tried again.

"Are you in a better mood, Raiden?"

I took a deep breath, swallowed my pride, and nodded.

He smiled sweetly and sat down next to me. "Good."

I relaxed myself as he pulled me over into his lap. This would all be for nothing if I tensed up on him and he didn't think I was coming around to him.

He wrapped his arms around my waist and set his head on my shoulder. After a couple minutes of silence, he readjusted his head and leaned in closer to me. "Are you hungry, Babe?"

"Yes." Everything was working perfectly. So perfectly, I almost couldn't believe it and my voice came out in a near whisper.

"Mom made bacon and pancakes earlier. Would you like me to warm some up for you?"

"Yes," I mumbled. "Please."

He pushed me off of his lap and started down the stairs again. "I'll be right back."

Once he was gone, my mind spiraled in inner turmoil. Had I broken? No. Of course not. I hadn't given up. I still had hope. That's what it takes to have broken, right?

Well, I guess I did give in, but only for one thing! Nothing else. I promised myself right then and there that I wouldn't give in to anything else. And like I said, it didn't count since the thing I 'gave in to' was so small and insignificant. Didn't count.

I didn't break.

I won't give in.

I'll fight back.

I'll escape.