How does it feel

How does it feel 12

Air Temple Island

January 3, 151 AG

The last two years of Aang's life were the hardest for Katara, knowing what her husband had done. She wanted to hate him, but she couldn't. All his life he was always thinking of others. Even on his death bed he still couldn't kick the habit.

"Honey, please…." Sixty-four year old Aang says as he sits in an easy chair with his head down resting his forearms on his knees. He'd just returned from the spirit world a few hours ago. The aging avatar had made a decision that couldn't be undone. He tries to calm his wife down after telling her what happened.

"Ugh! I can't believe you did something like this. What were you thinking? After everything you've told me about Koh….WHY! Why Aang! Did you even bother to consider how we would feel about this? Ugh!" Katara yells as she paces back and forth in their bedroom.

"Katara, everything I have ever done…" He says as his wife interrupts him.

"Oh please…Don't give me that! You didn't do this for us." She shouts as her husband stands up and puts his arms around her. She cries into his chest for a full minute as he gently kisses her forehead. "What about our family, what about me."

He knew this was going to be hard for her, but this was all he had left to give. "Katara…I did this for you. It's always been for you. Don't you know how important you are to me, to the world? If I hadn't met you… none of us would be here today."

He smirks softly. "I fell in love with you the first moment I saw you. That was when the entire course of my life changed. It wasn't until I met you that I had something I wanted to fight for, that I wanted to live for. Do you understand that?" Aang sighs heavily as he pulls away from her and gently lifts her chin so he can look into her eyes. "I had to do this, for all of us. The avatar must know love otherwise everything we've worked to build will have been for nothing. The entire world will be thrown out of balance. "

"I get it okay, I really do…but…" Katara whimpers. "Why couldn't you have waited? I just needed a little more time." She says as her eyes well with tears. She looks up into his eyes. "I'll find some stronger herbs, I can heal you. I know I can…I just need to find the right combination then you'll…."

Aang smiles softly and cups her cheek as he shakes his head. "It's my time honey. This isn't something you can fix. Believe me I wish it was. I even asked my most long lived past life Avatar Kyoshi if anything could be done. She lived for 230 years and told me my only option would be to refreeze myself." Aang says with a sad laugh. "And we already know what that leads to."

Katara swallows and wipes her eyes. "Aang is this really the only way? I mean… you found me. Who's to say the new avatar won't find someone too? There has to be another way."

He takes her hand and they go sit on their bed. He lowers his eyes and takes a deep breath. Over the years Aang shared a lot of what he learned about being the avatar with his wife including the harsh truths that came along with the all powerful position. "Katara…do you remember when I told you about the 10 Choices?"

"Yes." She nods.

Aang holds his head down sorrowfully. "Avatar Kuruk was the 10th." He looks up into her eyes. "The avatar spirit is half of one interconnected spirit. When an avatar is reborn, there is an all consuming drive to be reunited with the other half of itself to balance the energy. It manifests as love in us. We must find our counterpart. You're mine. Ummi was Kuruk's." Aang takes a deep breath. "Unfortunately those of us who don't find love, or find love and lose it…choose to die." Aang says as he lowers his eyes and looks away from her.

He sighs heavily as he continues to speak. "When Kuruk's fiancé was taken from him, he went into the spirit world right away to try and find her, but it was like she had completely disappeared from existence. He was so distraught and in pain over failing her that he committed suicide. He chose to take his life. While in spirit form he discovered the tree of time. That's when he found me apparently. He saw me in the future telling him that Koh was the spirit who took Ummi from him. When he found out that it was a spirit who took Ummi, he tried to find a way to destroy him."