When Bellatrix has a Daughter

15. A talk with Dumbledore

Dedicated to XxSharlynKeehlxX

Letting go of the fear which had captured me for so long was not easy. But it was not impossible. Spasms of fear hit me sometimes but I stayed true to the promise I had made myself. I stopped feeling fear. The next few days went by smoothly (how ironic!). Draco pretended like I did not exist and I simply ignored him back the same way. I no longer had to stay awake the whole night too. The next day, while I came to the common room after my day was over, I was surprised to see Ron and Lavender snogging each other as though this was to be their last day on earth. Hermione was nowhere to be seen. I raised my eyebrows but then realized it was no longer my business.

The third day, my Dark Mark hurt suddenly. It burned literally! It was like my wrist was in flames. Triple of the pain I’d felt when Harry had caught me. What was happening? I was lying in my bed at night when it started burning. I tossed and turned, trying to not scream out in pain. Sweat bead were forming at my forehead. I’d rather my wrist was cut out! Tears streamed down my face as I buried my face in the pillow and moaned softly. Then, a raspy voice which was exactly like Voldemort’s, spoke, “You can never run away Elvis…”

It was then that I started crying, realizing the terrible mistake I’d done.

*

The day after that, I went straight to Draco.

“I’m sorry,” I said, looking down at my feet. “Yesterday the Dark Lord spoke to me in my dreams. He said I could never run away. Now I know. I was trying to run away Draco, but one cannot run away from one’s destiny. No matter what, we still end up in its arms. The arms of our fate. And my fate is death Draco.” I looked up at him. Then I whispered the word again, which somehow made it final, “Death.”

It was then that he clutched my shoulders tightly. “No,” he said firmly, but with an edge of desperation. He seemed like he was trying to convince himself, but in vain, “No. we’ll win Elvis. And then…”

“And then what Draco?” I whispered, tears filling my eyes, “Then what?”

“Then…” he seemed to falter a bit and then he continued, “Then my dad will be free, both of us will be the Dark Lord’s favorites! We’ll have power. We could do anything!” I nodded my head, swallowing the knot in my throat, “But I don’t want that,” I whispered. “Then what do you want?” he asked. “I want…” I wanted to be with Harry and live a wonderful life filled with happiness and love. I wanted my best friends back; Ginny, Ron and Hermione… and also Draco, he counted too. I wanted Voldemort to be dead, darkness vanish, and also the fear and the negative feelings of desperation and hopelessness vanish inside of me. I wanted to be myself freely, laughing along with the people whom I loved at jokes. I wanted to be free of this pain. But I couldn’t say all this to Draco. So I simply let my sentence hang, and wiped my tears with the back of my hand. The empty cubicle flashed at my mind, and emptiness, fear over whelmed me. I hugged Draco and whispered in his ears, “We’ll be alright,” trying to comfort myself as well as him. But for us to be all right, we had to make others ill. For now, that would be fine by me, because I had no other choice.

*

My small fight with Draco seemed to be meaningful. We had a better understanding of each other. we had grown closer.

“No more staying late at night Elvis,” Draco grinned widely. “Yeah,” I didn’t bother asking why. It was because once we went to Malfoy Manor, all our answers would be given! And we would succeed! Everyone would applaud us. We would have power… everything…

But then again… the image of me trying to kill Dumbledore kept flashing in my mind. What if Voldemort, oh no! The Dark Lord saw it? I had slipped through his fingers once, I couldn’t escape again! I was nothing beside The Dark Lord! I was not that a great Legilimency user anyway. The thought sent my heart accelerating. Then Dumbledore’s wise words echoed in my ears… “You always have a choice Elvis…”