When Bellatrix has a Daughter

16. Taking the side of my Heart

“Your bed will be waiting for you Elvis,” Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling. The thought of sleep was very tempting, but my heart was too disturbed for that. I fidgeted in my seat. 

“Before you go,” Dumbledore told me, “I would request you to keep away from Draco. It’s for his safety.” Until that point I had totally forgotten he already knew about our mission.

 “You know don’t you,” I said weakly. “After what you did to Katie…” he trailed off reminding me. “Oh that,” I looked down guiltily. Then I started saying quickly, “I didn’t mean it to happen!” I could feel Professor was staring at me. “I really mean it,” I whispered.

“It’s hard you know,” I looked up, “trying to murder. I thought I had no choice.” “I understand,” Dumbledore said with a nod. “And that’s what Draco is thinking probably,” I said in an accusatory tone. Dumbledore took a deep breath, “I believe Severus is trying to help him.” anger at Snape lashed at me. “Well he is! He has been offering to help us like he’s someone really desperate! I must say, I felt kind of disgusted too,” I snapped and then waited for the reaction. Maybe he would deny it. Maybe he would get angry and do something to Snape. But he surprised me. Instead of doing anything rash, he just nodded his head patiently and didn’t say anything. “What?” I said, shocked, “It’s true!” was it that he didn’t believe me? “I believe in Severus,” he stated. “Are you… Don’t you believe in me?” I asked. “I do,” he replied, “but I also trust Severus.”

“Well, I feel sorry for you,” I said quietly.

“Ah there is no need for that,” Dumbledore said lightly. Something told me that it had deeper meaning. “Why do you trust Snape so much?” I asked, curiously. “Professor Snape,” he corrected me. “Right,” I said, waiting for the answer. “Faith as small as a grain can move mountains,” he said, “so I don’t see why a heart wouldn’t.” my mouth hung open. Really? He had THAT much faith?? 

“What will you do if he betrays you?” I placed my next question.

“He won’t,” he said surely. This old man had got it wrong! “But what if?” I emphasized on ‘what if’. Dumbledore just smiled. “It’s getting late,” he pointed out. “Answer me!” I demanded and then, said in a tone to cancel out my commanding tone, “Professor.” “Severus has always and will always be my faithful helper. I’ve seen that he is, and I suppose I’m wise enough to know that,” he said in a final tone. His voice was so confident, I started doubting me. What if Snape was on the good side? “Teach me how to have faith like you,” I said without really knowing what I was talking about. I put my hands to my lips soon after that, because I had so not meant to say that! Stupid mouth.

He smiled. Standing up, he walked over to a candle on his table. “Come here,” he said. I obediently went. “Do you see the light of this candle?” I nodded. Of course I did. Then he shielded the light with his hands, “The light is hidden now,” he said, “but that doesn’t mean it isn’t there. It’s just hidden somewhere inside the temporary darkness. You just have to remove the shield that has been shielding your light.” With that, he un-shielded his hands from the light. The light shone in my eyes as if a fire had been lit in my soul. I could not say anything at the beauty and the wisdom of it all. “But then…” I choked and mustered my courage to continue, “What if…?” With that, I blew the light out. “What now?” I said, tears glistening in my eyes for no reason at all. 

“Now,” Dumbledore said gently, “it will just take a little bit of effort for it to shine again. The wick and the wax are there, in other words, the reasons for it to shine, but it if just mellows in darkness; it will be of no use. However, the wick and the wax will never fade. Now,” he fumbled with a matchstick near the candle, with his dead hand. “Let me,” I offered and lit the candle.