The beginning of the end: Bellatrix Black

The Delphinium

Saturday, September 22, 1962

Somehow from the next day the time seemed to pass unnoticed as I was swallowed by work  and the classes with such mind-twisting magic, which even though I always knew existed, I couldn't believe that was coming true right in front of my eyes.

This is majorly why I just loved to spend time in the library, surrounded by knowledge of all kinds that simply fascinated me to my bones. What could be better than the feeling of satisfaction when the books slowly disappeared from those huge piles?

All classes were interesting and engaging - I liked it all. Even the homework never really bothered me - after all half of the things we had to write, I had learned from reading in the evening. It was just a little effort after the classes and just before the real challenge began.

I liked that the library was so big that it covered most of the interesting topics. Actually all of them but the one which I was most curious about, I couldn't visit - the Restricted Section. You either had to be a Head Boy or Head Girl or to get access from a Professor which obviously wasn't that easy.

But there was another thing in the library which seemed to interest me a little more. Well, it is not something but rather someone. Sometimes I was annoyed at my inability to focus when this someone was around me but somehow in the end I found my way back out of his world into my own one where only I ruled.

Indeed, he was always at the back of my mind and it was bothering me over the fact that I had no control over his presence in my brain whatsoever. At some point, though I stopped fighting for that control.

Yet once when I had to practice that mind control, I couldn't. I got so carried away by thinking about Tom's perfect smile in Transfiguraiton that when Professor Dumbledore asked me about the transfiguration formula I couldn't answer and just stared blankly at him.

Of course after the moments of silence and awkwardness passed he repeated his question and this time my clear mind answered with ease:

"t=(wc):(va)Z , Professor, where 't' is the intended transformation, 'w' is the wand power, 'c' stands for concentration, 'v' shows the viciousness, 'a' marks the bodyweight and of course, 'Z' is the fifth unknown variable." I looked around and realised that every Slytherin had been staring at me although I couldn't quite figure why. Everybody was supposed to know to this, right?

Why wasn't anybody reacting in any way? Why didn't Professor Dumbledore say anything? At that moment I could feel Tom's stare into my back and how it was leaving a burned hole.

"Isn't that correct, Professor?" I asked unable to stand the silence anymore.

"It is, Miss Black but I am afraid you need to visit the Nurse" said he and just before I could ask why, the floor hit my head and I felt my body going numb right as all the lights faded away.

Blackness. Peculiar. My name was Black. Why would somebody have such boring name. Why isn't somebody named "Ivory" for example? Just like the colour of my favorite flower - The Delphinium.

Mother used magic to raise it because the plant craved a lot of care - you had to moisture it the perfect amount of water and plant in place with mixed shade. It can't stand wind so it's rather fragile yet upon its rising it has thorns.

Somehow it has most of the gardners addicted as a lot of people take upon the task to raise it but with little success. Still, in the end it's worth it because it has the most wonderful pastel colours on its petals but my favorite were the ivory-coloured ones.

That's the thing about the Delphinium - you can take seeds from a pink flower and grow a white Delphinium. I had enchanted a place in Mother's garden which only I could see and visit. That was  where I grew Delphiniums trying to get one to grow like I wanted but they never did.

I never used magic when I grew the plants. I had a talent in growing flowers, it turns out, just the lack of luck in getting what I wanted.

A year ago, my lack of patience came to me and planted such anger in me that I enchanted one flower. As talented as I was, it became exactly as I wanted it to but that made feel even worse so I got even angrier and tore half of the flowers out.

That's the beauty of the flower, though - you may give all of you and pour your will in it but it still may turn out just as you hadn't expected it to.

The seeds of the Delphinium are poisonous, which is another curious thing. I always kept some with me more out of curiosity than spite, yet there was once a time I considered using them on myself.

Just after what Mother did that day, and the words that may I never forget, I ran to my garden as it was the place where I wanted to be found. If I ever was. I wanted to leave everything alongside with all the unsuccessful tries of my talent and anger.

When I reached the place though, unexpected surprise hit me. There it was. Perfect ivory! Just like that flower I had torn out of the ground. I could feel one warm tear streaming down my face and my heart beating.

Maybe there was hope after all, wasn't there?

I was out of breath. My throat was on fire.

Fire. It all caught on fire.

That blackness swallowed me again and this time I was facing the ceiling rather than the dark, blue sky. At least the smell was out my throat but the memory was back, freshly planted into my mind.