The beginning of the end: Bellatrix Black

A light in the dark

Wednesday, July 3, 1969

The screams echo at the back of my mind for so long at the end I feel deaf.

I am blinded by my tears. The memory stings deep and there's no one to relieve me from the pain. I am alone, I repeat over and over.

So dark, so lonely. Who would stay in such place? So I go back to my memories.

Thursday, August 13, 1962

A child born into a family of wizards is usually taught the basics of magic in order to understand the basics to controlling their power and avoiding getting hurt.

Of course, it was Mother that taught us and I was the best among her children. It was not that I had a talent - both Narcissa and Andromeda had talent as well but my curiosity towards magic which deeply fascinated.

I would read books from days on end, starting with easy stuff, moving to harder ones. I did every spell again and again to perfection. This is how you learn.

Eventually I gained a rather high level of magic-making. So high that I was able to do things even graduates from Hogwarts couldn't but I had an advantage - they weren't taught how to do such stuff.

One day, a few weeks before the start of my First Year in Hogwarts, I read a detailed article on the Patronus Charm. Before I had seen it mentioned but it never really caught my eye.

This time it had really made an impression and I was eager to try it. I knew it wouldn't work from the first time and there was only a tiny chance that it would work at all. Not many people could do it at all and probably nobody at my age.

I also knew it was risky. This spell drained you but I wanted to do it more and more with each passing second. I saw paintings of how the Patronus was supposed to look and they truly fascinated me.

If you did it correct, then the spell took form in an animal which differs to every person depending on your character. You had to focus very hard on your happiest memory and then the animal created by your memory takes form in a silvery-blue light of the animal. Each Patronus is unique by itself.

What was even more breathtaking was that your Patronus could change over the years just like people changed.

I tried again and again but nothing else than some light came out. I was left with headache and tiredness. I couldn't believe I had to give up. There had never been a spell I couldn't do.

Friday, December 2, 1967

A few years later while reading in the Slytherin common room, the spell was mentioned in the book I was reading. At first I was sceptical. It didn't work then, why would it now? Yet curiosity bet scepticism. I waited for everybody to go to bed so that the common room was left to my use.

I tried to hide my enthusiasm, even though thinking about it I hardly doubt it worked.

Finally, the last person - one of my sister's friends left. Again I was a realist so I was sure it wouldn't work on the first time.

Still my veins were buzzing with adrenaline and I felt.... I felt hopeful. And the feeling was unexplainably good.

I focused on that one happy memories or at least the happy bits of it. I thought about that moment when I felt pure satisfaction of myself. When I achieved something by myself and when the future smiled at me for a second. I focused on that second.

I made the incantation while moving my wand in a circle. I forgot all about anybody who could be awaken by my voice, just focused on that perfect ivory flower.

I was surprised when an actual corporeal Patronus came out of my wand. It lit the whole room with its magnificent shine.

A she-wolf was walking, filled with pride around the room. She was a pure miracle. I could hardly believe my eyes.

Out of nowhere blackness fell over me like a blanket.

In my mind only the she-wolf was left to brighten the darkness.