The Niche

Closer.

My mom was super angry, I could see that by looking at her; her nostrils were flared and her both eyes were focused on me. I was shooked, mom indoors at this time of the day was a surprise, and I didn't know what to say I just looked at her, my body stationary.

"Kim will you answer me? Where were you" she was almost screaming.

I tried to speak but no voice came out, I looked at the clock and it was only seven.

"Mom I..."

"Yes?" she snubbed again.

"Mom I was out with my friends" I lied. I hate lying.

"And when you left?" she questioned

"At four" I answered

"Three hours of gallivanting, do you think that will fetch you enough marks to get into a university?"

I looked down at my legs and felt a turbulence of anger around me, Okay I lied and I was out but it is not that big of a deal. Why is she so furious? Why does she have to snub me at all times? I was angry.

She kept speaking; talking of all the times I got less marks, all the times I was late for school she even pulled out the condition of my dirty room, all was fine. But then she compared me to my sister and I exploded.

"Mom seriously shut up you cannot scold me for no reason I was out for three hours, so what? Three hours are far less than the whole night of partying kids of my age are doing. I am doing amazing in my class, teachers will tell you that, and if you are not happy with me then I will leave like my sister and never come back again, just like her." After I screamed out all of my fuming anger I felt guilty, my mother had tears in her eyes.

I ran from the drawing room to my room upstairs and shut the door with a bang. I was very furious and I wanted to throw things around, I almost felt like running away from this house and never come back. I was so frustrated that I suddenly started crying and wobbling; I fell down to my floor and sat against the wall continuously crying while looking in the distance.

I walked to my bathroom and sat on the floor; I took out a brown box from my drawer and sat down on the floor again.

I knew this will make me feel better.

My previously seeping anger was cool down and I was calm but the guilt and the tear in my mother's eyes were creating a big burden on my shoulders.

She was wrong but I was wrong too. I lied to her in the first place, but she brought my sister up I hate getting compared to her; I know she is not coming back home and making excuses every time but somehow she is angelic in front of family just because she managed to get into a nice university.

I laid on my bed and looked up at the ceiling. I lied to my mother and even shouted on her indirectly for a guy, was he worth it?

Is Tushar worth the lies and fights that I will be saying and doing in the future? Or I can tell everything to my mom and wait till she understands. The truth is that she won't; relationships are just off limits.

But I like Tushar, I can't let him go just because my family isn't allowing. Should I step into the 'no entry' zone and lie like all the other kids?

He hasn't asked me anything about the relationship so that is currently in the backseat. I kind of hope that he asks, I feel happy with him.

I like him.

He keeps my mind off Dhruv and even makes me laugh and today was so beautiful. Forgetting all the drama that took place I started smiling, I looked down at my hand and forgot all the pain, I still felt his hand on mine.

I just lay there, smiling, thinking and imagining my world with Tushar. Tushar scored Devika; Devika is a bomb so I don't want people to think that he can do so much better. But he came to me, I never went to him.

He took me out on a date, we had so much fun. I really hope he likes me, I mean maybe he does; why would he take me out then?

For rebound, my stupid brain popped a thought.

Can I be his rebound? Just to keep his mind off Devika?

My mind was filled with many thoughts, it was crazy. Thanks to my bad history with rejection I am super paranoid with Tushar. What if I am really a rebound how would I face that?

I was thinking deep, I am an over thinker that is what I do in all situations. Last time when Dhruv talked to me I was sure that he likes me, that wasn't true.

So, this time I am not letting my brain run wild. Let this be what it is, no one in the school knows the reason of their breakup maybe it is just because the bitch Devika cheated on him, maybe he is heartbroken and I am taking his mind off the heartbreak, I am doing some damage control.

That wouldn't be a bad thing then and also I don't believe in 'rebounds', like what are they? You end one relationship and get into another, is that a bad thing? Probably it was a toxic relationship with Devika so he came to me because clearly he was looking for a better partner.

Good! It is always good to have some damage control.

After what felt like hours of laying and thinking I heard a knock on my door and my mother came in.

"Kimaya" she said in soft voice.

"Yes mom" I said

"I am sorry for today, I should not shout at you and nag you so much" my mother apologized.

I stood up straight not knowing what to say; my mother has never apologized to me, what got into her?

"Mom no you don't have to, it was my mistake too" I said

"Kim I am sorry, I know fill you with pressure you had to explode one day. I am really sorry okay?"

"Mom it was not your fault, trust me."

"I trust you and I don't want anything bad for you. When your sister calls and says that she is not coming home and makes excuses I know she is lying but I don't say anything because I know it is indeed my fault. In the mist of dreams I pressurized you two so much. I am sorry for that." My mom completed in tears. She looked up and saw tears in my eyes too; she put her hands on my cheek and gently caressed me.

"mom it's not your fault, I know you want good things for me and I love you for that"

"I love you too honey" my mom said and embraced me.

Mom's embraced are the best thing there is, all my worries and tension just vanished when I put my head on her shoulders.

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