Bellarke One-Shots

Reluctant Love

Hey little author's note, this is my first time ever writing anything. Constructive criticism appreciated, but go easy. Thanks for reading.

Clarke's POV

I had just destroyed the city of light. ALLIE's last words echoed through my numb mind, "The earth is dying, Clarke." I shook my head and scanned the room. "Mom!" I said. Running to her side, I laid my hand on hers. Instantly in my mind I see her standing on the stool and then jumping off, all I had to do was give in, but I couldn't, and that could've cost my mom her life. My eyes move down her body, a ring of blood encircles her neck from where the rope tightened mercilessly as she had hung by it. I inwardly shuddered.

Jackson was calling out orders and I wished I could've helped, but I was paralyzed in the fear of what could've been. I was crouching over my mom, stroking her hand and thinking what if, what if she had died. They were putting her on the stretcher and I just sat there. They lifted her up and I stayed where I was, a single tear threatening to drip down my cheek. "Mom." I uttered lamely as they took her away to the medical center.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, nuzzling my head into the comforting hand, I stayed crouching as if she was still here. I breathed in her faint scent and shuddered as I smelled the blood.

After what felt like several minutes later and my legs screaming in the agony of being crouched awkwardly, the strong hands grabbed my shoulders and gently helped me stand. I melted into Bellamy's embrace. I didn't even need to look up to know it was him. The way my body instinctively relaxed at his comforting touch, I inhaled to smell his wonderfully, familiar scent.

"Princess, you don't look like someone who just saved the world." He said looking down worriedly at me.

"Because I didn't." I replied simply, leaving the words to hang in the air. I looked away from him. There was so much I needed to tell him and part of me felt as though I'd burst if I didn't soon, but I was really tired, and I knew I would not be going to sleep, but I didn't feel like standing anymore. Bellamy continued to stare quizzically at me. Gaining control of myself again, I walked away. I'm sure I looked ridiculous, my head felt dizzy, my legs were still half asleep and very much protesting moving, and I had no clue where I was going.

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I sighed, night had fallen and while the rest of the earth slept, I sat over my mom humming her to sleep in the medical center. I was just putting some stuff away when a figure appeared behind.

"Clarke?" His low voice rumbled.

"What is it, Bellamy?" I asked turning to face him. I was angry and tired. I wanted a break, I needed time to catch my breath. Lately it felt as though I was drowning in my own mind and I often caught myself forgetting to breathe. I also knew that the second the battle stopped, so would I and I would have to mourn those I lost and it was much easier not to.

"I brought some food." Bellamy confirmed this by lifting the food in the air a few inches.

"I'm not hungry." I replied harshly. It wasn't really Bellamy I was angry at. It was everything and he was here. He was always here, I thought softening a little.

"Clarke, you need to eat something." Bellamy said stepping closer to me.

"I said-" I began to speak but my mom stirred and a pained cry escaped her lips. So I pushed Bellamy out of the medical center into a deserted corridor. "I said I'm not hungry." I snapped my voice rising with every word I spoke, not bothering to hold back anymore.

"Starving yourself isn't going to fix anything, Clarke. You have to fix your problems. You have to stop running and pushing them down and face them." He screamed looking as angry as I felt.

"I don't run away from my problems!" I exclaimed. How dare he? Like he was anyone to talk, if he had a problem with someone he just shot at them.

"You can talk to me, okay? I'm here for you." Bellamy said softly, almost pleading.

Something inside me broke at his plea and I found my self screaming back at him, "Fine, I am the Commander of Death and everyone I touch dies." I laughed humorlessly. "My enemies, my allies, the poor fools stuck in the cross fires, and the people I care for and love. My dad, Finn, Lexa..." I let my weak voice trail off, there were more names, but I couldn't say them now without starting to cry uncontrollably.

"Hey," Bellamy replies softly, lifting his hand to my chin and tilting my head up forcing me to meet his gaze, "You didn't lose your mom. She's in there." He gestured to the door. "Alive and breathing and waiting for you."

"You idiot," I said quietly. His face was taken aback in shock at my words. "I was talking about you. I can't get close to you, I lo-" my voice broke off. "I fear losing you and so I left you and I ran away from my problems. I'm sorry. I hated it, every minute, and the longer I was gone the more I hated myself, a selfish coward undeserving of you." I shook my head free of his hand and looked away from his intense, brown eyes.

"I love you too." Bellamy said. I looked up in shock and before I could smile he kissed me. He kissed me hard like it was all he thought about for years and I let myself kiss him back. I dropped my self-made armor and allowed him to break down my walls, the ones I had made in an effort to protect myself. After stacking brick after brick atop one another for every person I ever killed and lost, I finally allowed myself to grieve.

I pulled back from the kiss. Bellamy looked into my unguarded eyes. "I could go for some food." I said and he smiled.