COLD AS YOU(#YourStoryIndia)

FUNERAL

Clarisse P.O.V

Matt died four days back. I am still in shock.

Today's Matt's Funeral. Where am I? At my place obeying his wish. Not to attend his funeral. I wasn't crying. I didn't feel like crying nor screaming. In fact I didn't feel anything. I was numb. I didn't know what to say, what to do, what to feel, what to imagine. 

My Aunt came to talk to me but I didn't want to talk. I locked myself up. I was curled up in one corner of my room with lights off. My room dark just like my fucking life.

My phone kept buzzing. My friends were calling me. I ignored their calls. I heard a knock on my door. I ignored it too then came a sound.

"Cass?"

"please open up. I need someone to talk. Clarrise Sparks open the door please"

Kevin was at the door and It seemed that he was about to break down.

I crawled slowly to my door and opened the door to meet kevin's watery eyes. I couldn't control myself. Seeing him in this condition hurt me. Matt not beside me tore me apart. I jumped into his arms and I cried my eyes out. Suprisingly he remained calm, didn't shed a tear and said consoling words in my ears.

I sticked a cute picture of matt and me on my wall. I kept one promise to not go to his funeral but he will always stay in my heart. He woud always remain my first love.

After an hour of crying and remebering Matt I controlled myself and untangled myself from Kevin's arms. I felt cold without his arms around me. Felt like Matt.

I cleared my throat. He also sat up straight. 

"I miss him" I mumbled

"Yeah me too"He said

then awkward silence surrounds us.

"I guess I should leave now"Kevin said

I was disappointed that he was leaving. Why was I feeling this way. What the hell.

"Yeah okay"

"Wanna go to the park tommorow" He asked

"Umm... I don't know" I replied because I was feeling guilty. It hasn't been a week since Matt died and I am already getting close to another guy that to his bestfriend. I need to maintain some distance between us. This is wrong.

I think that Kevin understood what i was trying to say as he shifted in his place uncomfortably. 

I knew he was nervous. He came near me. His lips were inches away from mine. I turned my face away.He turned my face towards him. 

He inhaled as if he was breathing me in.

"Clarisse, you know I was the last person who talked to Matt before he died. Do you want to know what he said to me?"

"yes" I breathed out

"He loved you with all his heart."

He took my hand and led me to my window.

"You see that star. The most sparkly one. He is Matt. He's always with you and looking at you. He wants you to move on and be that happy lively girl he loved not a statue who feels nothing. He gave you to me. I promised him to take care of you. After her he was my only real friend and I by no means am breaking his promise. Please Cass let me take care of you. Let me obey my friend's wish."

He was about to break down. I closed my eyes,took a deep breath in.  I got up. Kevin was on his knees. I told him to  get up. 

I gave him my best smile and that too a genuine one.

"Wanna go to the park tommorow"

His eyes lit up. He smiled at me and my heart melted. he was overjoyed that he hugged me with all his strength.

"Kevin,you are choking me"I managed to say

"Oh,I am so sorry. I guess I was extra happy. Okay I'll pick you at 4" and left my room.

I sat on my bed and started to  analyse what just happened today.

I felt my head getting heavy. I thought of how Kevin looked at me. As if he know me for long. There is patience and dare I say love in his eyes whenever he sees me. Oh who am I fooling. He is only doing what Matt asked him to do but I don't know why I feel some spark.

I was sleepy and decided to go to bed.

.................................................................................................................................................

"Kevin, I love you. This is the best birthday gift ever."

"Amy you have no idea how happy I am today. Lets carve our names here."

And everything went black. There we shrieks and crying. Everyone was dead or injured. Amy was injured. People Dressed as nurses picked Amy up and took her to some place. she fainted.

I woke up breathing heavily. Oh thank god It was just a dream. I saw two 10 years olds. The boy was Kevin, I mean the girl called him that and I have this feeling that he was our Kevin and then There was this girl Amy. She looked so much like me. There was a crash. AH! my head hurts. I can't bear it. Everything is moving. I can't breathe. Help!

"MARIEEEEEEEE......" everything went black.