Classic (English)

CHAPTER 10 - "BLACK HEART"

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I wake up with a terrible headache, like every time I cry a lot or go to sleep distressed. Last night it was both.

The conversation with Sam repeats in my head as I stare at the ceiling and decide it's time to put certain feelings behind me. She's right, I'm holding myself back. Feeling resentment and anger towards Aaron only generates me not moving forward, continuing to keep tabs on every single thing he does and it's not fair and it's not ideal.

I remember my encounter with him at Starbucks and thinking about it cold, I can realize how sincere his apology was. He really felt bad about what he did to me and I was always blinded by anger. Thinking about everything we went through, I come to the conclusion that Aaron is not a bad person. He never really was. He made a mistake that tore me up inside, but now I can see how remorseful he felt and all I did that day was hurt him. In a way he deserved it, but I still can't help but feel a little bad about it. 

Always the tendency to let the guilt come after an argument, agh. Yes, I was wrong, but I had the right to express everything I had inside and he needed to hear it. Karma will take care of making each of us pay. It's time to bring closure to this. 

I get up and take a quick shower. I call my work and talk to Joe, excusing myself for being sick so he would give me the day off. He readily agrees and wishes me a speedy recovery. I leave the room and am surprised not to find any of the Killeens. Then I remember that Sam must be in college and Sean well, I really have no idea.

I call Cameron, make my request and he flat out refuses. He is still upset about having to "give up" his space to Sean, so I have to remind him again that it is my apartment and that his childish attitude is not going to solve anything. He ends up reluctantly agreeing, but not before asking me an infinite number of times the reason for my request and I end up saying goodbye without giving him an explanation. He's probably going to get even angrier, but Cameron has to put his whims aside. His behavior unnerves me, but I try not to think about him and concentrate on what I'm going to do next.

Nerves make my hands shake and I take a deep breath before typing the message that could either fix the whole situation or make everything worse. After rereading it at least four times, I hit send.

He responds after what, to me, seemed like an eternity. He's obviously surprised by my message, although I knew he would be. Then it's my turn to be surprised when he agrees and passes me the address of a place I know very well. Is he trying to play a joke on me?, I think somewhat annoyed, but I sigh and decide it's better not to jump to conclusions.

Before I stop and think about it too much, I head to my room to change. When I'm done, I write a quick note to Sam, in case she gets back before me, and head out. As I walk, I think about if he's really going to show up, what he's going to tell me, how this is all going to end. My nerves only grow more and more. I play with the rings on my fingers to calm down a bit.

Ten minutes later, I see him sitting at the table next to the window, where I can see the beach and palm trees. I sigh, letting go of all the tension from my own thoughts and mentally encourage myself before entering "Black Heart", my favorite bar. By day, it's a coffee shop where I go whenever I need to clear my mind and watch the waves, while enjoying an amazing coffee. By night, the place seems to completely transform and become a dreamy place, where I can be myself, getting lost in the amazing music of each band, the colorful lights and the decor that would scare many but fascinates me.