Dream

23. Wishing

Here I lay,
Scared, afraid,
Wishing for a change
Hoping that maybe someday,
There'll be a guy,
Who doesn't hit me like he does
One that hates to fight,
Unless it's for me
A man that cares about more than just the whiskey
Cares about something
Other than those strange girls,
That he brings in at night
Someone that loves me like,
All the gentlemen I see on tv
Someone who's nothing but kind
Instead of so hurtful and mean
But maybe,
He's right,
Maybe I deserve this,
After all,
It's because of me that she left,
Could it be that I was such a horrid mistake,
That it caused her to hate,
Me so much that she didn't want to stay
Or maybe she didn't like seeing my face,
That's what he says anyway...
He says he wants me to leave
I wish I could,
I wish I could fly to another far off land
And never again see his bruising hand
Never again be hit
I want prince like in all the fairytales
He'll come on his white horse,
And dry my tears as they pour,
Down my face
He'll smile so bright it'll clear the haze
And help me see straight,
Through my blackeye,
Like the one he gave me yesterday
My prince will come to save,
Not to beat me in a drunken state
He'll be a caring man,
One that doesn't beat me blindly out of hate
He'll love me
And not in the way that he loves those girls with all the caked on paint
He'll love me
But sometimes, I wonder if princes' are real
And if they are, I doubt one would kneel,
To my low level
Because if there are princes,
They always come for the princess
Not a girl like me, a peasant,
In the theoretical sense
They never look at the lonely girls
The ones like me that he calls whores
Because the girls like me are nothing but an eyesore,
No matter how hard we try
I wonder if I'll ever be free
Released, from this living hell
From all the pain, all the beatings
I keep looking to the stars, hoping,
That maybe someday he'll leave,
Or stop hitting
That in some far off day I won't dread the floorboards' creak,
From his intoxicated stumbling
Knowing,
That he isn't coming upstairs to hug me
I keep,
A vision in my head of a life of peace
A dream,
Of being happy
A time when I'm not constantly,
Looking over my shoulder to avoid a blow
A hope for a day when I'm really living,
Not just walking in a shell with a smile that isn't real
I dream of a life that's untroubled, like the ones on the big screen
But these dreams,
Aren't ever going to be reality
They're just evidence that I'm pulling apart at the seams
That my unfaithful sanity is leaving
All the hopes of my prince coming to get me,
Are nothing but dreams
All thoughts of being happy,
Are just fruitless hopes
They'll never come true, who am I kidding?
He'll never stop hitting me,
No matter how much I keep wishing.

Inspired by,
Airplanes- B.o.B, (Nightcore)