Somewhere In Brooklyn

16 - November 16

I am failing my art class.

No surprise there. I haven't finished any of my portfolio and I missed a couple of quizzes. I barely participated in recitation, although that one is not entirely my fault. Our art teacher, Mr. Lacueta, doesn't bother to call my name anymore, unless the answer would be easy for me to say.

Anyway, he asked me to submit a painting and a drawing next week if I want to have at least a C.

So, that's what I was doing earlier. Sketching.

I started with a few strokes of lines until I drew an eye, then another one. They were round and curious, searching for every secrets and flaws that I'm desperately trying to hide.

I tuned out while my hand kept on moving on its own accord. There's a blotches of freckles across the small nose, a plump lips that looks like it's frowning, a long straight hair that's supposed to be covering both ears that I didn't even bother to draw.

Humming some tune of a song that reminds me of you, I mindlessly shaded my drawing, smudging my thumb on it and erasing the unnecessary lines and shading.

The thumb and the side of my hand were covered in pencil lead and charcoal. I was halfway finished on tracing my work with a black pen when I felt like I've been punched on my stomach and a cold water have been splashed all over my body.

I leaned back to stare at my drawing, blinking a few times and rubbing my eyes with the charcoal-coated heel of my palm. It was you-the drawing. I've drew you. Somehow, my mind have memorized your face-every line, every freckle. It was all you.

Instead of admiring how beautiful you looked, I hid the paper under the pile of my homeworks. I panicked. This can't be, this can't be, this can't be. Why do I always see you everywhere?

You're all that I see when I close my eyes and you're all that I could ever think about lately. Why is this happening? I'm not sure if I like this.

I've only spoken to you once, yet you keep on haunting me. Please, stop haunting me. Please, don't be like them.

I don't want you to be one of my ghosts.