Driving Life!!

Confessions

Alina
I was lost in his voice.I was lost in Quran I had forgotten.I was witnessing with my eyes open "The greatness of Allah" but still I denied HIM.I denied that HE was the one driving my life,HE is the one driving my life.HE has the power over all.

Mr.Hayat took my mind to a grassland where I felt wet,easy and fresh.Now I was ready to tell him everything about my past.Because I knew I had to flow with my live driven by Almighty Allah.

I had lost all my questions,I was satisfied.Only One Surah of HIS Holy Quran had satisfied me.Only one surah had given all the answers to my questions.

I did not know from where to start my confessions.I cleared my throat and Mr.Hayat handed me a glass of water.I sipped and started:

"Mr.Hayat you know I am impressed by you because you make me feel at ease.Quran make me feel at ease.I was very much away from Salah and Quran these past years and even I forgot the teachings of Prophet Muhammad S.A.A.W.I was livong a worldly life with considering mylef the only writer of my life.I had apparently no faith in HIM.I offered prayers but my soul wasn't into my prayers.This all happened to me because I was chosen for it.

I was sixteen when my matric ended and I had beaten Harib again in our result.I loved to compete him.

I did not know we were not friends but enemies.When I competed him in Fsc first year and I won again then He all of a sudden wrote me a letter that he loved me and I was so foolish to trust him on that."

I started crying.I cried for several minutes.Mr.Hayat did not say a word,he justed handed me tissues.
When I felt better,I continued:

"I started loving Harib.I spent my days and nights chatting with him.My result was affected but I did not bother but what happened On MCAT day was worse.I could not ever expect that he can do that.

Harib told me that My father was dead that day and I believed him."

My head was buzzing.I felt headache and nausea.I could hear Mr.Hayat speaking now.

Mr.Hayat holded my seat and sat infront of me and said:

"That's what you were hiding from your family from so long.Why didn't you tell your family how Harib cheated you"

I said,"I had already failed,why would that matter what Harib did to me.He is not sorry even."

Mr.Hayat said,"He will be,someday.Tell your parents about Harib.You will feel better."

I said,"I thought it will be so hard to talk about my past infront of you but you made it so easy."

He smiled and said,"why do u panic little girl.What happened next?"

I cleaned my teary face and started my story again:

"Harib not only made me fail to acheive my dream ambition but he uploaded my photos on internet."

Mr.Hayat said,"Astaghfirullah,what a shame.How people do that dont they think of their mothers and sisters.Dont they fear Allah."

I smiled now that was my turn to smile.I said,"That's why I panicked."

Mr.Hayat said,"your pics will be off the internet in an hour inshaAllah."

Then he picked his phone and made a call.I heard him on call that he was talking to his friend who was an IT specialist and could remove her photos.

He asked me about the detail of photos and I told him the details with feeling of myself drowning with disrespectful description of my photos and vulgarity I had shown in those photos.I could not even see in mirror my own self after that.

After the end of call,Mr.Hayat was talking to me,he said,"Photos will be removed.All your problems have solutions.If you could not be a doctor,you can be in any other field with your aim to serve humanity.You are not a failure.This is all by the will of Almighty Allah.Its oly that we humans don't understand.We are puppets with a little will power and a big mind that make us think ourself as superior but We forget the most Superior."

I started crying again.Tears fell,I wiped and then I said,"you promised me Mr.Hayat that If I will tell you about my failures than you will tell me your failures."

Mr.Hayat stood up and said,"Sure,I keep my promises young girl.I will tell you in our next session inshaAllah.Now I am going to offer Maghrib prayers.Time is short.See you in next session.I have written for you some Surah to recite and no oral medicine for this week. I hope you will feel good inshaAllah. ok.FeeAmanillah."

I stood up and walked out of his conference room,still curious about his failures because now I was very relax about myself.The therapy I wanted was in Surah Ad Duha and the one Mr.Harib had written on medical prescription were Surah Al Fatiha and Surah Tariq.

All that week I kept reciting these Surah and felt better.I also kept thinking about mysterious life of Mr.Hayat and how I could serve humanity by not being a doctor.

People opt. to be doctors because they want to serve humanity or that is what people say to hide their greediness for money.What else might be the reason of being doctor,I thought.

I was super curious and super excited about next session with Mr.Hayat.I had started liking him.The time I spent with him was soothing for me.

I had started talking with my parents and behaved normally.I was back to life.My photos were no more on internet.I had no dying for aim to be doctor any more.My regrets were fallen to minimum because I had ask Allah for forgiveness.

Now I was focusing my life as a new life and as a blessing from Almighty Allah.Now I could live a life with no mistakes repeated.I had resolutions for my new life.I had plans but with faith in Almighty Allah.I had loosened steering of my life in HIS control where it was from the beginning.

Life is like driving on roads;
with people in cars driving on their lives;
choosing their paths by themselves but even google map fails to locate sometimes or your car wheel punctures or you experience anyother tragedy.Road might not be smooth everytime.That's where you come to know who's the actual driver.Your driving skills doesn't matter,your plans doesn't matter,what matters is HIS(Allah SWT) will.

I had understood it and was now looking forward to new roads of my life with a guide and angel Mr.Hayat.I had to explore him and my life left on Earth.

*writer*

happy reading to you and happy first birthday to my son :)