Naadirah was going through some really tough times choosing which guy she liked more and I never knew who she should choose. The other day some teacher told us that if we want to ask someone something or tell them something we should say it to their faces instead of behind the backs. So, I decided that I should confront Sabeehah on a few matters. We were leaving our classroom for Physics when I told her that we needed to speak urgently.
“Sabeehah I’m going to ask you this straight to your face…what did you tell Zuhair besides the fact that you lied that you were 16 and
like soccer even though you don’t know what’s going on in the sport… Oh and not forgetting calling me a bitch,” I asked Sabeehah with a super sweet voice. I could see that she was nervous and didn’t know how to respond.
”It was before you and Zuhair went out when I started speaking to him. I was speaking to him and told him a few things about myself and then I asked what was the relationship between you and him.(She took a deep breath) He said you people were dating and he called you his sexy girlfriend,”
When she replied with this I wanted to go to Zuhair and tear him limb by limb. My anger was increasing and when we reached Physics, I sat there wondering the whole lesson why would he call me ‘sexy girlfriend’ that just made me sound more like a slut why couldn’t he say beautiful? It struck me then that he played me. I was loosing my mind just thinking about it… I felt like taking him, putting him in front of a fire, holding a stake and torturing him like in Vampire Diaries when Damon killed Mason.
Naadirah then came up to me, “Zahira I’m going to kill that dude seriously, he thinks he can ruin your life and reputation. Psht. I don’t want you speaking to him.”
I left the conversation at that and left for the next class. Second break approached and it was Zuhr. We were the few Muslims so we used to make Salaah on the soccer grounds and bring our own prayer mats and burka’s. Thereafter we had about 10 minutes of break and Naadirah and I were sitting on the pool stands speaking.
”Damn I’m soooo confused about this whole Zuhair situation I feel like just ripping him up,” I told Naadirah as I sat staring into the wide open… Lately I’ve been zoning out during lessons and stuff, it really isn’t good for myself. I mean I get sooo distracted I sometimes even forget about what the teacher was saying.
“Yesterday you were laughing at me and my situation with Aadil and Irfaan and guess who’ll be laughing now? …Me,” Naadirah told me with this weird yet funny smile. I then saw that she had a water bottle in her hand and this devilish idea came up. I was going to mess her with water.
The bell rang for the end of break and we were walking downs the stands. I started throwing water on Naadirah as we were walking down not realizing she lost her balance… She fell off the stands and hurt her leg but luckily it was not major. On our way to the nurse’s room, we met Zuhair and he said “oh you at it again hurting people physically now not even emotionally. Everything is your fault as usual I bet you did that to Naadirah.” I felt like slapping him but held back when Naadirah told me that he’s not worth it. When realization hit me. It was my fault and its so true what my sister told me before I came to school and what Zuhair told me… Everything is my fault and no one elses… Why? Why? Why? I asked myself as I was walking home from school.
When I reached home I had this long shower and somehow I cried again… Seriously I’m starting to have trust issues and bad ones. It
was until I was about to sleep when I took out my iPod and started playing Myriam Fares Bet’oul Eih blast on my earphones and all of a sudden I started crying when I received a message from Suhail say “so I heard you and Zuhair were going out long before you came to England. Why didn’t you tell me? I’ve heard bad things about him. I hope you doing well. Just know that I’m here for you if you need to talk”. This warmed my heart.
I went to the kitchen to fetch some water for the night when my mum called me to her room to tell me something, it was then that I was shocked to know that what I had regretted my mum knowing she now knew…This spells disaster.
My mum sat me down on the bed and the lecture began. She reprimanded me about the situation with Zuhair and the picture that I sent. Apparently, Zuhair told my mum after school while she was still waiting for me. I’ve never seen my mum so furious at me before. She was screaming at me and I broke down crying. I regret every second I spent with Zuhair. My mum told me that she raised me better than that and expected me to know better. I knew that I was wrong. My mum then took my phone and ipad away and told my dad who was furious and insisted that I be taken out of school and be home-schooled. I begged for me to rethink and he said that he needed some time. I’m just going to find a way to stay out of trouble and stop messing my life up. Wish me good luck.
Xoxo
Nazain ♡
