I needed to get my mind off things. All of this was too much to handle. School, tests, the love triangle…Luckily I was fortunate enough as my family and I were going to spend a weekend at the resort. It was just what I needed. We left on Friday but unfortunately I had to take my books with as I had homework. Sigh! It was amazing but the weather wasn’t too good. It rained when we got there X_x
Saturday morning was the perfect day for a swim. My brother Mahmood, his wife Amina, his two children and I took a walk to the hot water pools (yes, I’m an aunt of two. I feel old x_x lmao!). My niece, Unaisah, who is only 4 years old was quick to jump in as she goes for swimming lessons and enjoys it whereas I can’t swim to save my life. Haha, it’s embarrassing. I wasn’t too keen on going in as I noticed a few guys eying me out but eventually went in the pool as my niece insisted.
Later, my brother accompanied by my one year old nephew joined us in the pool. It was so amazing and adorable. Unaisah wanted to go out of the pool and jump into the pool as she saw all the other children doing it and well I allowed her to. Just to see the smile on her face instantly put one on mine :)
Unaisah swam to the other side of the pool and Mahmood told me to at least try to swim and get her and that’s when I made eye contact with the one man. He was fair in complexion, had green eyes and brown hair and looked like he was in his twenties. He smiled at me and gestured me to come to him when my brother wasn’t looking but I just turned the other way.
My brother decided to teach me how to swim but I wasn’t too eager as he wanted me to swim in the direction of that man. I said that I couldn’t and my brother asked me why. I couldn’t tell him the reason or else he’ll probably go up to the guy and swear him so I just kept quiet and tried to swim in that direction. My brother taught me how to float! :D
I ignored that man the entire time. After we swam we went for a walk and then returned to our room and as I approached the door I felt my heart stop…that man was my neighbour! Why do these things alwayshappen to me?! I went to my room and noticed him looking into my room. He began smiling widely and I ran towards the curtains and closed it. Whew! That was close.
I got ready and later went to the spa as my mum, sister and I made an appointment for a full body massage. I felt so relaxed when they were completed as I had so much of stress. It was such a peaceful and relaxing atmosphere and I just adored it!
The next day some of my family members joined us at the resort and we had an amazing braai. I saw that man again but walked in the opposite direction. I managed to avoid him my entire stay and I got home on Sunday night. Wow, I haven’t had time to think…
It’s almost been 2 weeks since I’ve had to choose between Irshaad and Aadil and well…it’s not going well. I haven’t made my choice yet and have been avoiding them both ever since. It was difficult to avoid Aadil as we normally talk everyday and not being able to talk to him made me realise that I missed him. I was so confused. I love Aadil but believe that Irshaad is a kind person and we could be something in the future but the truth is that I can hardly keep a conversation going with Irshaad. When I speak to Aadil everything is easier and the conversation just flows. We can spend hours talking about nothing and will never get bored and that’s what makes me think that I should choose Aadil.
I was talking to Irshaad a few days ago and he was all flirty. He asked me if all the boys in my grade still trouble me and I was so
confused as I thought Zahira told him about an incident that happened in my Biology class (This one boy just came up behind me and grabbed my hips. He later made eye contact and smiled x_x. Sigh! It was totes awkward! Zahira just mocked and laughed telling me I’m in a love rectangle x_x) Irshaad replied telling me that it’s sooo obvious that boys trouble me. He then told me that if he had it his way then he would jump in his car and beat them up. It was just sweet. Irshaad told Zahira that he likes me but told her not to tell me even though she did. He was talking to us both and that time and it was so awkward because he sent me the message he meant to send to Zahira about me! It read “Zahira, I’m talking to her now. She’s just too cute”. I didn’t know how to respond so I just replied with a simple “lmao wrong person” after which he apologised and once again the conversation died.
Aadil and I have been talking for about a year now and have been inseparable ever since. We always manage to keep the conversation going no matter how weird the topic. I’m afraid to tell Aadil how I feel though even though I think he might like me back. I just don’t want to put our friendship at stake. I think I should leave things as the flirtationship (more than friends less than lovers) even though it’s very confusing. I rather be friends than nothing at all. I don’t want to lose him. I’ve realised that either guy I choose will be a risk to me as I’ll probably be dead if I’m caught talking to boys but Aadil is taking a risk talking to me also. Even though he was warned once by brother Yusuf and over 4 times by my sister, Tasmiyah he continued speaking to me. Hehe, thinking about him just makes me blush. I’m glad to have him in my life ♡
It was Monday morning already… Weekends go so fast that I sometimes think that they are made in China. As I entered school Zahira was standing at the classroom door and zoning out. Lately she zones out so much she doesn’t even know what the teacher is saying. I’m really worried about her.
It was recess time and Zahira had this look on her face. She was nervous and I could tell that something was on her mind. She needed to talk to me. I started walking on to the playground when Zahira started speaking to me…
”Naadz, I have to tell you some things that I never meant to tell you. I feel so guilty because you tell me everything and I don’t tell you half of my secrets,” Zahira said.
Zahira took a deep breath then started to tell the story… “It started in Grade: 8 when this boy asked me out and I said yes. He was my first boyfriend. We used to have long night chats and at that time Fatima used to check my phone and she caught us out a couple of times. Eventually, we became so close we eneded up going to the cinemas, shopping and loaaaaaaaaaadddzzzz of other places together. I thought we would last till we got married until I heard the news that he was leaving to live in America. Shockingly we had a relationship where we would speak after he was gone for 2 months but then I realized it was not working out and I broke it off… In Grade 9 I went out with Luke, he was spanish. I also went out with…oh no, I seriously can’t tell you more it is too hard to tell it to you, right now I know you must be thinking what a slut I am. Naadz, I’m sorry to break this to you but I don’t think we can be friends,” Zahira said with all the confidence she had left.
I was left speechless. She really was a bitch, slut, hoe, whore and everything else but a part of me wanted to hug her and say everything is alright and we can continue this besties relationship. But I didn’t know if I could trust her, I mean for years we’ve been friends and she hasn’t told me all of this and for heavensakes she went out with a total of 4 or more boys in her life. I’ve got a life right now to worry about and everytime she puts stress on me. I mean the last time I got in trouble for getting her and Zuhair together and they never even last a week. Who else did she go out with that she didn’t want to mention?
Names paraded my mind…How could she not trust me? I’m her bestfriend or should I say ‘was’. Some days I think its all Myriams fault. Myriam taught her how to bellydance, how to speak to a boy(Zahira was always shy of speaking to boys) and now she even wants Zahira to get a bellyring… I think I’m just going to leave it at that and we won’t be friends for some while, it will also give us both some space and we might just be able to think better!
Xoxo
Nazain ♡
