A Perfect Mistake

Chapter 31

2012 starts off with a terrific year.

I turned 16 years old on March 18 and I got my driver's license and a new car (a silver Honda Accord).

Mitchell turned 19 years old on March 24. He moved into a cute, little cottage not far away from home and Lorraine and I moved along with him.

Mitchell started his freshman year at Dover University. 

I started my senior year and I actually went to school. (Lorraine got to go to a free daycare at our church.)

I got a job as a busgirl at the same diner Mitchell works at.

Oh, and Mom's stroke has been improving a LOT. The doctor predicts that she will be back to her normal, healthy self by September or October.

Mitchell and I (especially me) thoroughly planned out our wedding AND Lorraine's 1st birthday.

Well, 2012 is flying by quickly, and now it's August 18, Lorraine's 1st birthday.

Lorraine Rose Smith is a 1 year old now.

That shit is just unbelievable.

Lorraine is growing up way too fast.

She has been crawling since 6 months old. She has been standing up since 8 months old. She has been walking while holding onto furniture since 10 months old. Now she is walking...barely, but she is WALKING.

When I wake up at 8:00 AM, I run straight to Lorraine's nursery and pick her up from her crib (who is already wide awake).

"Happy, happy, HAPPY birthday to you, sweetheart!" I enthuse loudly, throwing her up in the air and catching her as she falls down.

Lorraine laughs and laughs. Her cheeks turn red. (She does that when she's really happy.)

As I change her into a purple T-shirt, pink denim overalls, and white criss-cross sandals, I tell her that she'll be having a party at the park by the playground and she'll have a cake and ice cream and she'll get lots of presents. Even though she doesn't know half of what I'm saying (other than park, playground, and ice cream), she giggles with excitement.

I chuckle. This child just makes me so happy and joyful. I'm so glad that I'm her mother and she is my daughter, despite the fact I'm only 16 and she is only 1.

Age doesn't matter. I know that I'm a good mom and that's all it takes.

After I finish Lorraine getting dressed, I take her to the kitchen, and put her in the high chair. 

Mitchell happens to be already sitting at the table, eating leftover dinner (spaghetti and salad), and scrolling through his FaceBook feed on his iPhone 4.

"Happy birthday, Lorraine!" Enthuses Mitchell, tickling Lorraine.

I chuckle. "She can't possibly be 1 already."

"I know, it seems impossible, but she is indeed 1." Mitchell says, shaking his head in utter disbelief.

I sigh. "We made it through the 1st year, Mitch. Only 17 years to go."

"Not long at all." Mitchell says sarcastically, chuckling.

I chuckle. "Well, I'm gonna go get ready."

"K, babe. I'll look after Lorraine."

"Thanks, babe."

After showering and getting dressed into a loose, flowing, white summer dress and dark brown, ankle-length cowboy boots and putting on makeup (mascara and blush and lipstick, as usual), I'm back to the kitchen by 10:30.

"The party is at noon, by the way," I remind Mitchell. "But we need to be at the park by 11:15 to set up for the party and all."

"I know, I know, babe," Mitchell replies.

"Well, go get ready, Mitch. You're still in pajamas, for goodness sake!"

"I'm going, I'm going." Mitchell laughs, standing up from the table, and running out of the kitchen.

I shake my head and tell Lorraine, "Daddy is a nut job."

Lorraine laughs and claps her hands in response. 

At 11:00, everyone is ready to go, and the 3 of us leave our cottage. We climb into Mitchell's car and we drive to Dover Park.

By 11:15, Mom and Dad and Dylan and Gina and Eve are already there.

Their gifts are set on the picnic table. There are balloons tied up and a banner that says: "Happy 1st Birthday!"

"Thanks, guys!" I say gratefully.

Their response?

"Happy birthday, Lorraine!" Everyone says to you-know-who.

Lorraine laughs for what seems to be the 20th time today. She is definitely a laughable little girl.

Eva pushes Lorraine in the swing on the playground. Dylan and Gina accompany them.

Mom, Dad, Mitchell, and I decorate the pavilion and we set out the cake and ice cream on the 2nd table.

By noon, everyone else arrives (my grandparents from both of my parents' sides, Mitchell's grandparents from both of his parents' sides, my aunt and uncle from my mom's side and my aunt and uncle from my dad's side, Mitchell's aunt and uncle from his mom's side and aunt and uncle from his dad's side, and all of our cousins from both of our parents' sides, also Jonathan, Eve's boyfriend).

Lorraine is having a blast. She might not know that today is her birthday, but she knows that all these people love and adore her and she knows that she is having a ton of fun. 

She blows the single candle on her chocolate cake.

She smashes her slice of cake on her face.

She opens presents with my assistance. (She receives building blocks, cars, dolls, picture books, and several other things.)

And at the end of her party, I prepare a speech and I speak it out for everyone to hear:

"When I was 15 years and 4 months old, I found out I was pregnant. I wasn't happy at all - I was angry and shocked and depressed. A baby was the last thing I wanted. And, worst of all, Mitchell shouldn't have been the father. He is my best friend Eva's big brother. It's wrong and immoral in a way. I betrayed Eva and it almost cost us our friendship, but luckily it didn't, because Eva is a totally awesome person. Eventually, I got over the anger and shock of learning that I was pregnant. I knew that I couldn't go back in time and get un-pregnant. I screwed up and I had to deal with the consequences. Luckily, Mitchell supported me, and he even became my boyfriend. My parents and Eva supported me, too. Also Dylan and Gina Parker, Mitchell's and Eva's parents. I was incredibly lucky to have such a large support system. Without those people, I don't think I'd ever make it out through my pregnancy. On August 18, 2011, my baby was born several weeks too early, but miraculously, she survived. Mitchell and I instantly fell in love with her. We thought she was the prettiest, cutest baby girl in the world - and she still is, of course. It's hard being teen parents, but somehow Mitchell and I manage. Not only did we manage, we succeed. Yes, we are young, but we are good - no, great - parents and that's all it matters. We gave Eva a pretty good darn 1st year, and we'll make sure that she'll have the good next 17 years of her life. We love Lorraine Rose Parker to the moon and back. She is our daughter, the most wonderful daughter in the world. Lorraine, sweetheart, I love you and happy, happy birthday to you."