Confusing Love

Chapter 31: A Cameron Story

Cameron's P.O.V:
"So they want us to go." says Shawn. He had just told me that Taylor, Nash, and Aaron were going camping.

"I don't really like camping." I said.

"Come on. It'll be fun." He walked over to me. I was sitting on the couch and he was standing in the kitchen. "Plus we can have sex out in the middle of nature." He leans down and kisses me. After a few seconds he sits beside me.

"Shawn I just don't really want to." Should I tell him about why I hate camping? It happened so long ago. I should be over it by now.

"Babe why don't you want to go?" he asks.

"I just don't want to." I say while standing up. I wanted a snack.

"Are you ok Cameron?"

"Yah I'm fine. Why?"

"You're just being weird. Are you keeping something from me?"

"No Shawn. I'm not." I hated lying to him.

"Can we please go." He was standing beside me now. He wrapped his arms around my chest from behind. I push away.

"Shawn please stop asking. I don't want to go camping." I walk to the fridge slightly annoyed.

"Fine." he said rudely. Great, now he's mad at me.

"Shawn can I just tell you I don't want to do something without there being a reason for it?"

"Cameron I thought you loved me enough to want to tell me everything. It's fine, whatever." He walked back to the living room.

"Shawn I do love you, I just don't want to tell you about the reason I don't want to go camping. Ok?"

"Cameron we're not supposed to keep secrets from each other."

"I don't remember us being married?" I said. It came out way more rude than I wanted it to. Shawn looked out the window. He picked up his coat.

"I'm going to Nash's place. Call me when you've calmed down. And I'm going camping with my friends, regardless of if you go." He walks out slamming the door behind him. Can he just not push me on this. My mind races back to that horrible day when I was just 10 years old.

"By sweety!" my mom yelled.

"By mommy!" My father and I were going camping. Unknown to me at the time, this would be the last time I ever got to see me dad. We got to the park and hiked to the spot we were camping at. It was about an hour away from our house.

"I'm ready to camp Daddy." I said. He just looked off in the distance.

"You know I love you right Cam?"

"Of course Dad." We found a spot and put up our tent. We started a fire and cooked some food. "Goodnight Daddy." I say drifting off to sleep. I heard thunder outside.

"Goodnight Cam." I guess after I fell asleep he packed his things and left. I woke up in the middle of the night. The storm had ripped half of the tent off. I was all alone.

"Dad! Daddy!" I yelled out crying. But no one came to save me. I sat alone for hours, crying in the rain. I eventually got up and ran through the dark woods until I found the road. I started walking down the road. After about 5 minutes I saw flashing blue and red lights. It was a cop.

"Who are you out here with little boy?" It was an older man, very nice looking.

"We came camping together but when I woke up he wasn't there. You don't think he'd leave me like that do you?" The officer pulled me into a hug.

"Get in the car bud, it's pouring the rain." After I got in the car he asked me questions like what my name was, age, my parents names, if I had any siblings. He took me to the station.

"I'm not in trouble am I?" I asked fearfully.

"Not at all Cameron. Your momma will be here to pick you up in 20 minutes."

Flashback ends.

Maybe I should just tell him. Although, I think it's rude he won't let me keep one secret to myself. I'm sure he has his own secrets that he's never told me.

******

Shawn walked in. "Hey, you were gone all day!" I say defeated.

"Yah I went to Nash's and we went shopping and stuff. We're exciting about going camping." He sets a few bags down still not looking at me. "So have you decided if you're going?"

"Shawn. I already told you I don't think I can."

"Why not Cameron?" He looked desperate for an answer.

"Shawn can you please just respect that I don't want to go and that I don't want to tell you why."

"No Cameron. It kind of erks me that you won't trust me with whatever secret your keeping."

"Everyone had secrets Shawn! I'm sure there's plenty of things you're not telling me."

"Actually there's not. I've told you everything about me. I'm an open book. I keep no secrets because every time we do, bad shit happens." I thought back to our past. Everything that happened with Josh, being afraid to come out, most of the problems were rooted in keeping secrets and not communicating. I walk over to him and wrap my arms around his chest from behind him.

"Can you please not bug me with this Shawn. It's one secret. And it's not bad either. I'm just embarrassed and it was a really life changing event." He turns around facing me.

"If it's that important I want to know it Cam. I want to know everything about you. I love you. You should never be to embarrassed to tell me something. I will be here for you no matter what. All of that comes with love Cam." He pulled me into a hug.

"Shawn I just think like this is very personal and I really just don't want anyone else to know it." He pulled away from the hug.

"Fine. I understand." He sounded annoyed. "I'm going to bed. Night love you." He kissed my cheek and walked away. I followed.

"Shawn come on. Let me make it up to you." I lay on the bed and start undressing.

"Cam I'm sorry, I'm not really in the mood tonight." He strips down to just underwear and lays in bed. He turns his lamp off. I'm in just my underwear now too. I wrap my arm around him.

"Shawn, I love you. It hurts me seeing you aggravated at me like this. Do you want to cuddle?" He didn't say anything. "Come on. I need to cuddle with my baby boy. Please? We made a promise to never go to bed mad at each other."I say cutely. He groans, and turned over resting his head in the cradle of my neck and shoulder.

"I love you Cam."

"I love you too Shawny."