Confusing Love

Chapter 44: No But Yes

Shawn's P.O.V
Did he say he can't marry me? Woah. I let go of his hands and stand up. "Shawn no listen." He was smiling. "Stay right here." He ran off into the apartment. I can't believe he said no. Why doesn't he want to marry me? I sit down, trying to catch my breath. What if he doesn't love me the same way I love him? I rest my chin in my palm, looking out into the city lights. I felt tears building in my eyes. You cannot cry Shawn. Cameron walked back out. "Shawn?" I looked over at him. "Oh babe, don't cry come here." He pulls me up into a hug. I hug him back. I'm really crying now.

"Why don't you want to marry me Cameron?"

"Shawn shhh. Just listen." He sits my me back down in the chair. He's standing down on one knee in front of me. "Shawn I'm sorry that I said no to your proposal. It was probably the hardest thing I've ever done. But I want you to know I love you more than anything else in this world. You're the first thing I think about when I wake up, and the last thing I think about when I go to bed. When something exciting happens, your the first person I wanna tell because I love how you listen to me and how you listen to what I have to say. When I feel like the lowest a person can you feel, you can magically swoop in and lift me up. You're the most incredible man I've ever met in my life. You're so beautiful, and adorable, and sexy. And I know without a doubt that I want to be with you for the rest of my life." I was crying now because of what he said. I was slightly confused though because he said no to me. "Shawn Peter Raul Mendes," he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a ring box. No way! "I know I said no to you but please consider this. Would you do me the highest honor of marrying me?" My heart was pumping so fast now. My hands were covering my mouth. I can't believe this. I try to say 'yes' but can't manage to get one out through my tears. So I just nod my head. "Wooooohhhh!" Cameron yells. I fall down onto my knees in front of him. He pulls me into a hug kissing me. I can't believe he proposed. He stands up, bringing me up with him. He holds onto my hand while yelling over the balcony. "You hear that world, me and Shawn are getting married. WE'RE GETTING MARRIED!!!" He yells. He turns over, holding my face in his hands and kisses me.

*****

"So when were you originally going to propose?" I asked.

"Remember that big surprise on Friday that I told you about? I was going to propose!" He holds me tighter. We had just finished watching a movie on our bed.

"I still can't believe you said no to me Cameron." I faked a sad face.

"I didn't really mean it Shawn. I just wanted to ask. I always figured you wanted me to ask."

"I did. But then I thought what if you actually were waiting for me to propose so I decided I would do it. I couldn't take not being officially yours."

"Babe you're already officially mine. This marriage isn't going to show that you're officially mine. It's going to show that we love each other, and we want to show that love by uniting ourselves in front of God and all of our family members." I look down at his hand. I hold it up, looking at the ring.

"Do you like it?" I ask.

"I love it." He brings his hand up to his face looking at it. "It's beautiful Shawn." He lowers his hand back down.

"So is mine." I say. "Where'd you even get this?" I asked. It looked different from any ring I'd ever seen.

"My aunt gave it to me. When I told her all about you she told me that she knew we were gonna get married." He said smiling.

"And how did she know that?"

"She said she could just tell. That she felt like I was more Cameron now, like I was truly myself. Where as before I only had half of me. And she said every time someone says your name I smile like a fool and my whole face lights up."

"She sounds like an amazing lady." I hug Cameron tighter, resting my face in his chest. I love him.

"She is. I was supposed to call her the moment after I asked you."

"She can wait till morning." I said. I reached down and held Cams hand.

"You might not know this Cam, but I love holding hands with you."

"Really? I didn't know that actually."

"I don't know why. I just love how you're hands feel. There rough, like a mans." He smiles turning over so we're looking at each other.

"Oh yah? Well yours are smooth, like a baby." He laughs then leans in to kiss me. He pulls back and looks at my face. He kisses my eye. Then my cheek. Then my forehead.

"What are you doing babe?"

"I'm kissing you. I've only ever kissed your lips. I want kiss the rest of you." I smile. He kisses my dimples.

"Your so weird." I say laughing. He goes down to my chest and starts kissing my abs. Then my nipples.

"So you're saying this doesn't feel good?" he questions.

"No no, it feels good. I just thought it was weird at first." I say smiling.

"God I love that smile." He says reaching back up to kiss my lips again. "Can you just smile and laugh forever. And find a way to sing and cook and love me."

"Sure sure. Let me hop right on that." I say laughing. Cameron lays back down beside me.

"I know you do this sometimes when I can't sleep, but would you sing to me?" He's holding me in his arms again. I loved singing to Cameron.

"What do you want me to sing?" I question.

"I don't care. Something cute. I think your singing voice is freaking sexy." He starts to rub my stomach with his hands. It felt good.

"What are you doing?" I question.

"I'm just rubbing your tummy. You're really hot right now and I feel cold. Plus I love how your abs feel." I pull myself closer to him.

"Better?" I ask.

"Better." he says. He finally picks a song and I sing him off to sleep. My new fiancé.