I'm sad
But feel guilty
You don't want me to feel sad
But I've become used to sadness and tears
Not happiness and smiles
I'm no longer used to being happy all the time
It doesn't feel natural
I'm used to
Crying
All the way home
Missing you
From the moment we say goodbye
Hours in my room
Alone, depressed, moody, hating it when other people bother me
Weeks on end
Crying every day
Being with friends
Only feeling truly happy with a few
Pain, emotional and physical
Every day
Texting you
Hurting because the conversation is one sided
Collapsing
Under the weight of everything
Alone in everything
Crying out for relief
•••
Nothing is the same
Being with you no longer feels real
Because I'm not used to it anymore
Being happy all the time
Feels wrong
Unnatural
•••
So I'm sorry
But that's not who I am anymore
I can't be happy the way you want me to
I can't be your Sunshine half the time
But I hope you still want me the same
I hope nothing's changed
Because when I'm with you
I feel hope
Hope that maybe one day things will be normal again
Maybe one day
YOU ARE READING
Petals of Eternity
PoetryA bunch of poems and metaphorical shorts. Some may be triggering for those struggling with depression, suicide, etc. But some of them will also be meant to give hope.
