A Storm of Thoughts

Confession

Everyone who reads this may not relate to this.The reasons could either be that you have never been through this or you are ignorant of the way your life is taking you.

Either ways,I recently figured that there is no point in rushing in life.This maddening world will not acknowledge you.

When I was nineteen,all I wanted to do was to get out of college,get myself a job and be independent.The fact is,I accomplished all of it.I got enough marks to get myself out of college,found myself a job,found an apartment,that too in a new city and as far as I was concerned,I was independent.

The part I was wrong about was the last one;the being independent part.I was financially independent,I was independent enough to take decisions.But I was not free.I initially ignored it.Later I failed to recognize the reason.Much later I realized my work drained me out.

I loved my job.Working for an event management company was fascinating.I was a quick learner as well.So it made the job much easier for my bosses.I did work after work,event after event, traveled for a month for the company which I found hectic and yet there was no complaint from my side.

I was physically and mentally  tired because I could not take this anymore.I was drained out.I realized that what I am doing to myself is not right.I am person of fast pace and I hated it when anyone was slow,be it in work or life.But at that moment I realized that at times its good to be slow.Let life go on.

The tension did not make sense to me anymore.The rush too.Why all this?I started taking it slow.I decided to do things according to what I felt was right.Soon I realized I was working towards nothingness because I realized the value of time one should have for oneself.I realized that I had not read my books in a while.Could not write because I dint have a clear mind.I realized that I had not cooked a proper meal for myself in a very long time.I dint even have time to talk to my mother.It is then that I decided to do things my way.

I realize just how futile such a life is,where there is just the satisfaction of work which you tend to lose gradually.We are all here to love,learn and progress with peace in our minds.Anything that obstructs any of this,is not worth it.Word.