Forgetting Cynthia

Thinking of forgiveness

You come to me with scars on your wrist

You tell me this will be the last night feeling like this

I just came to say goodbye

I didn't want you to see me cry, I'm fine

But I know it's a lie.

[Chorus:]

This is the last night you'll spend alone

Look me in the eyes so I know you know

I'm everywhere you want me to be.

The last night you'll spend alone,

I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go,

I'm everything you need me to be.

Your parents say everything is your fault

But they don't know you like I know you they don't know you at all

I'm so sick of when they say

It's just a phase, you'll be o.k. you're fine

But I know it's a lie.

[Chorus]

The last night away from me

[Bridge:]

The night is so long when everything's wrong

If you give me your hand I will help you hold on

Tonight,

Tonight.

[Chorus]

I won't let you say goodbye,

I'll be your reason why.

The last night away from me,

Away from me.

I walked into the cafeteria and spotted athena. She was always the first to lunch because she got out of class early whether the teachers cared or not. "Eriks here" i whispered into her ear. Aaron came up to the circular table and dropped off ten bags of doritos, a six pack of hawaiin punch, and some crazy straws. I hurried and got a ten pack of peanut butter jelly uncrustables. Then athena pulled out two packs of oreos peanut butter today. And caleb soon came up with five milk cartons all chocolate. This was afterall our daily routine. All of us even saved up for it. Then afterwards we play tag. Somethings gotta keep us young. "so wheres he at babe?" athena questioned me. I just wandered and finally said "you'll know when he is here. Im sure he can make a good entrance." she looked around then pouted. Then all of a sudden there was lots of griping from a long rectangular table pointing to ours. He was walking on top of it! Casually. Jose sat there too and erik 'accidentally' kicked his tray off onto his lap without saying a word. The girls stared. The guys glared. Athena looked like she was about to pass out. "He.he.he. He looks unreal. " she mumbled. "shh you'll get past it." i reassured her. The whole lunch room was staring at him. He came up to me then took his tye off and put it on me. I was totally entranced. What the hell does he do to me. "So MR badass just thinms he can do whatever the hell he wants in my lunch room." said a built jock with some of his footballBuddies. He was about the same height. More built with blonde hair and dull blue eyes. His buddies laughed and I swallowed. The lunchroom sound came to a stop. Erik cocked his head then slowly turned around and put his hands in his pockets. "You got a problem faggot?" he said lowly.

The jock turned red. "You're just talk. Just cuz your new doesnt mean shit!" jock said raising his voice and then his possy circled around erik. Caleb started to rise. "down man i got this" erik said. "And you are supposed to 'teach me a lesson' right? Well then stop talking and get to teaching." erik said calmly with a crooked smile. The jocks laughed and then circled in closer. I havent really seen him fight before. The leading one came in with a punch and before contact said "thats for calling me a faggot." erik soon side swiped then pushed him sending him into the floor. "cant deny the truth" erik snickered. Another one of the seven or so jocks came in as the other one got up. Erik held his arm in an abnormal position."wouldnt wanna lose that good arm of yours" he said laughing. The girls gasped. He was dangerous. Thrn elbowed the guy behind him in the nose. Blood went everywhere. Then settled for kneeing the guy with the arm in the stomach. Two down. The leading one came at him again. Erik looped around and grabbed two hands around his back and pushed him to the nearest table then slammed his head into it. No sooner did the jock fag sink to the floor then erik turned and caught another Guys fist. He wrapped his other hand around his wrist and twisted some heard a crack others heard a pop. But the guys wrist obviously hurt cuz he screamed in pain. Four down. The last three teamed up on him and ran to tackle him. He swerved out of the first one barely missed the second but the third pinned him choking him. Erik choked out "sorry man." but wasnt apologizing for provoking them but for the awesome punch to the face that gave the guy a busted jaw and a bruised face. The other two just stared. Erik got up rubbing his neck. "tsk tsk.." he said. The girls were cheering. And this was really hot. Erik came up on them. He hit one in the stomach with his fist and the guy doubled over. The second one he tripped then just sat on. With his elbows on his knees. I erupted in claps and so did the rest of the lunchroom. He took a bow then walked over to us. "lunch? Im so starving." he said like nothing happened i smiled. "cynthia pass an oreo or four will you? " he said. We ate at our small buffet and the guys talked about the fight. Well except for caleb.. He kinda stared at me. Athena stared at erik. I joined in with the guys conversation. And made funny faces with the oreos and crescent bitten pb&j. This dsy has gone perfectly. Lunch was dismissed and everyone got out of there while erik and i were left to clean up the tables mess. I threw away all the plastic and erik got the milk cartons and punch bottles. There was one oreo on the table. We looked at eachother Competitively. I reached for it as fast as I could but erik got it first and stuck half of it in his mouth. I put my mouth on the other part and broke it off."sharing is caring." I said. He ate his half. "Im worried about you and that caleb guy today, just promise me you will be careful?" he said seriously. Forget beating around the bush. "Il try theres just alot to figure out. But thanks..for being here. Its great." i confessed blushing. He gave me a stick of gum. "no problem cynthia but we have got to get to class." he said and grabbed my hand to lead me to class. We got into architectual design. together. holding hands. The guys mumbled stuff. Why would he want to be with her. Gotta thing for freaks does he? I guess we see his type. I dropped his hand. The teacher looked up. She was a girl and she understood me somewhat."Quiet! And are you the one that made that jockstack in the cafeteria?" she asked erik. He raised his hand and screwed with his hair. "I plead guilty." he said and smiled. "self defense i hope." she said and smiled at him. He smiled back and had a good boy attitude. "sure mrs. Schmitt." he said and took a seat by caleb and I. She re explained the project and we got to mapping on our large tables."cynthia, after today since you have that meeting..you can come back with me since im not staying in the dorms. I mean id have drive that way anyways." erik suggested sweetly. "sure but no more distractions shoplifting and we need a better diet." i said jokingLy. "fine fine, il buy some carrots or something." he said agreeing. "you two need to stop sticking up for me. I can do it myself." i said. "i agree" erik said. "whatevr we both know you can cynthia but you cant stop the world by yourself. Its okay to have people who got your back." caleb said grumpily. That was sweet. A guy came and sat down next to erik. He had the uniform on but instead had skinny jeans on. "Im derek. What you guys mappin over here?" he asked. I answered " foundation for a kids park with a fountain slides swingsets basketball court and soccerfield. Then the school is next " i finished. Caled switched pencils. "top left quadrant done" he stated. "i got the right bottom im moving to the bottom right. Finish up the last one then erik and derek can you guys start on the school. A fire exit for each hall. Seven short halls. One for each grade then one for art and music and another for speech computers and the library. Each hall needs 6-8 classrooms except the one with the library. And then there needs to be a cafeteria and an office part along with a kitchen." i finished. They stared. " i know what im doing." i stated.they did what i asked and we were done with the basics by the end of class. Next time we need to check out scale create keys and add details. The bell rang. Physics eww. Caleb came up beside me. " I know about the incident and i know what happened. It wasnt your fault." he said. I stopped. The hallways seemed to slow. "what...?" i said slowLy and my breath was becoming short.

"like i said. Im not who you think i am." he said and walked into physics. We took notes and did worksheets. Most boring class ever but most peaceful too. People are so caught up in their own drama. Caleb sat next to me still. In all of this i had to wander. Is he the good guy or the bad guy? Is he dangerous to me? How long has he been in my life? How does he know what happened? What will the others think if this ends badly? Should i have erik be there? If its bad why would he tell me the truth? I couldnt wait for class to be over five minutes til. I looked beside me. Caleb was gone! Where the hell did he go! ? The bell rang and I rushed to my dorm. He was laying on my bed.

Close one.

"My parents dont feel like they ever got their moneys worth out of your family." he started.

I locked the door. Then i slowly moved towards him. My vision getting blurry. He couldnt look at me. " I was your age. But i had everything i ever wanted. They were greedy and I didnt want what I had. But there you were. Your screams filling my head in everydream I had. You had just lost everything. And my parents wanted more. So they made sure I was there to relate every single thing that happened to you. I was there to make your life miserable. Im the one who pushed you down on the playground. Im the one who cut off your superlong hair in middle school. I was the one who started all these rumors. Im the one who bought your uncles first drink at the bar.Im the one who made your life miserable. But up until this year I never knew who that little girl was. I knew her name and I knew what i was supposed to do but i had never actually met her my entire life until now. This year no more lies were fed. I observed what my lifes task has been. Before her eighteenth birthday when i was supposed to kidnap her and hand her over to her my parents." he paused. I was sunk on the floor. Tears rolling down my face listening to this my heart hurt and throbbed inside of its cage. I looked up to him from the floor. His eyes finally met mine and the look changed. "I observed this girl my lifes task, i saw the scars and bruises over her body when she changed in shop each time more and more would come. I saw the scars on her wrists, i saw the freshly cut lines underneath her bracelets. I read the diaries of wanting to take her own life and each and every nightmare. How people treat her, how they look at her. I read about the failed attempts at overdosing, the broken chord from hanging, the starvation. How many times she wanted to die and to say goodbye. This beautiful girl with green eyes crying right in front of me. I met her and i vowed i would take my own life before my parents ever got what they wanted." he finished and a tear streaked down his face as he shut his eyes. His whole life was destined by his parents. He was empty without a purpose. Its over. My breath came back. "Cynthia. Please please forgive me.I am so sorry." He said. "In the end it won't matter.Death would have been death, life is to short to be stuck on grudges. You had no idea what you were doing. Just a voice on the end of the phone line. You cant undo any of it. " i said and walked out of the dorm leaving him there. I started walking to my uncles. It was going to be a long seventeen miles.

I ended up hitch hiking there. I walked through the unlocked door. "uncle..?" i called out. The house was eerily silent.and very dim for the middle of the day. "you didnt come home last weekend you little whore." he said raspily from the couch on my right. I stepped to my left. "yeah sorry had to deal with an extra credit assignment." I tryed to lie. I didnt know but he threw his bottle and hit me right on the head. I fell against the wall my head pounding. He got up and walked over to me. He was a tall lanky man with an unkept face and dark beady eyes. "your the reason they died." he yelled. "No i am not! Im so tired of everyone telling me that! And stop getting caught up in the past! Look at you! You used to be a prestigious man. A lawyer! You could have punished the people that did kill them! But now you lay here drinking away your life. Stop running from your problems! " i screamed from my sitting position on the floor. I touched my head. My fingers were warm and sticky. I found the piece of glass and pulled it out. He grabbed my hair around his hand. "I am a good man!" he yelled out. "good men dont beat their neices!" i sobbed out. "I dont consider you my niece i dont consider you family.your just a burden. You were a burden on your parents. You are a burden on me and i have to teach you how to act right." he said dragging me to the middle of the living room and kicked me. "you dont even look like your mother. You get your looks from your father. My brother." he sobbed out. I got up but got pushed down again. My foot snapped in protest. He stomped off to his room. I crawled to the telephone. I dialed 911.

"hello, whats your emergency?."

I couldnt tell, he would switch the story up on me i already tried. "I fell and I think i hit my head. Its bleeding and my foot really hurts. Its 1687 thatcher street. Hurry please." i said. I was blacking out when they got there. "whos your emergency contacts? " they asked. "erik tyler apartment 8 on north street... Caleb edwards 565 9897. " and it all went blank.