Forgetting Cynthia

Into the ocean

"step out the door and it feels like rain, that's the sound that's the sound on your window pane. Take to the streets but you cant ignore that's the sound that's the sound that your waiting for.if ever your world starts crashing down, whenever your world starts crashing down. That's where you'll find me."-All fall down, One republic

The fall off of the cliff was very unexpected. I mean here i am just minding my own business attempting to commit suicide when this obnoxiously gorgeous boy sitting on the edge of the cliff. He has tan skin, straight dark brown hair. Cut perfectly to start out that "scene" image. His high cheek bones that show just a hint of a five o clock shadow of a goatee.With a perfect nose. Not to big not to small and not crooked at all.

Then his eyes. No words can quite comprehend the dazzling intense ice aqua blue. Quite shocking. They were so bright i just had to stare. I saw his black and green dc's at the edge of the clearing. i was tempted to just turn around when i saw that someone was here bit i didn't and i don't know why. I could see his bulging arm muscles from here, well built and toned to perfection of seeing his veins pop out. Not all of them but some. So much that you knew he worked out or something but not so overly large that i wouldn't be able to come close to being able to put both of my hands around them.not hairy either which probably means some sort of Indian descent. He wore a sleeveless black tee and some baggy light jean colored shorts.

i didn't actually think that i would speak to him but then randomly words just shuffled out of my mouth. Words that I didn't think i had the strength to admit let alone say out loud.words telling my thoughts but betraying my mind. Words crashing the protective walls i placed around myself. Words hinting that I wanted to commit suicide.Nobody ever knew how unhappy i really was. Behind fake smiles and getting out to go to some parties and raves, who would have guessed? I didn't have many friends. Practically none. Just those who still preferred to speak to me that is. I pushed them all away. i didn't like to get close to people in fact i hated it. but this gorgeous man right in front of me just broke me down and made me feel like a lost and broken jigsaw puzzle. Being caught up in my own damn thoughts, i hardly heard the words that he said. "I'm taking you with me." he said deeply having an odd expression on his face with amusement confusion hurt and happiness that read i-am-dead-serious-but- right-now-i-am-playing.Then he wrapped me up in his arms before I could blink. Making me warm inside out.

But the only thing i could think of was how good it felt to be held in these strong masculine arms. I finally felt safe. I haven't felt safe since i was a child. When we started plummeting to our death I just nuzzled into him. His chest was strong and hard, oh lord how i want him shirtless. Just so chiseled and defined so masculine and muscular.He smelt so good. Like a huge ball of fuc*ing man it was great. I clung tighter. Honestly he smelt so good it made me dizzy.  

"so this is what you wanted?how you wanted to die? By drowning? Its horrible, just as bad as burning alive. But slow and suffocating. But don't worry. I will keep you safe." he whispered into my ear sending chills throughout my being.I could feel his Hot breath on my neck. A warmth blossomed in my stomach. Then a knot.I just wanted him.

As we were about to come crashing into the water, all i could do was yell "You promise?" and we hit the water. He squeezed me tighter at first. Then his shoulder hit cutting into the water. I heard a sickening crack of what I'm guessing was his ribs. He let go of me, the water was freezing and very deep. Looking down all you could see was darkness. On my own the waves unsettled me. The tides pulled me and swooshed me around then more waves lapped over my head pulling me down and i began to sink.I didn't fight it because this is what i wanted. Right? No, don't question it. I thought mentally slapping myself. That man boy hotness thing god whatever the hell he was had me questioning my existence.The sun was up, it shone brightly through the waves illuminating some of the darkness around me. I was facing towards it and sinking down. My body started to panic when the air from my lungs escaped. But my mind was cool peaceful in fact. Just when my vision started to dim, a figure came into view. A manly sexy figure. But all i wanted to think say act and happen. Don't. Save. Me.