Forgetting Cynthia

Ethan

If I gave you the truth, would it keep you alive? Though im closer to wrong I'm no further from right and now I'm convinced on the inside,something's wrong with me convinced on the inside that theres so much more than me.

I snapped at him about his brother, I know when something is going on and there's a lot that doesn't make any sense. The features of his face contorted and somehow he still looked beautiful. The first emotion that flitted across his features were sadness as water welled up into his eyes. The next completely took up his entire being and it looked like rage. His breathing became heavy and his shoulders weren't relaxed. His mouth shaped from a frown to a grimace and the air seemed to get thick.

"You don't understand Cynthia." He said pinching the bridge of his nose.

"What don't I understand erik?" I said softly, taking a more gentle approach to get him to open up to me.

"Just go, Cynthia." He whispered in defeat.

"Finally something I'm used to hearing." I said regretfully with my head hung low.

"I still love you cynthia." He said to me as I slung my bag over my shoulder.

"If you loved me then you'd let me in." I said and turned my head as my sinuses filled up and water flooded into my eyes.

"I just need time.." Erik all but fell to his knees pleading.

"How much time erik? Another month? I'm tired of me being the only one to say what ive been through. I'm honest about my past because its part of who I am." I said getting dizzy again, maybe I lost more blood than I remembered. I grabbed the arm of my hoodie to see the it was starting to wet with blood. I must have cut deeper this time. I must have re-opened them. The liquor also thinned my blood. damn it I was smarter than this. I stumbled into the wall.

"Cynthia!" Erik yelled in concern, my vision was getting blurry.

"I'm fine! And caleb is waiting for me." I almost yelled.

He went straight to my arm and yanked up the sleeve. Revealing the cuts.

"You can't stop me, this is my decision." I said determined meeting his fierce ice blue gaze.

"It's my promise." He said leaving me slumped against the wall. He ran out the door, and as my senses dulled, so did my sense of time. This after euphoria was a lot more painful that the during. Erik came back sooner than I thought he would.

"Wh-wh-what did you tell him?" I shivered out, my body heat having left me for the moment.

"I told him that you'd talk to him when you woke up that you came home and passed out. Don't worry." Erik said really calmly and I believed him as he lifted me bridal style. He was saving me once again, from myself. My eyes started to close from how heavy they felt. "Cynthia stay with me" He hushed and went to the bathroom and started a cold bath. He lightly set me down in it and my senses jumped to very alert. He then quickly bandaged my wrists , after ripping off my hoodie. My lip was trembling.

"Will you ever get tired of saving me?" I asked feeling level headed.

"Never" He said lightly.

"I love you too." I said looking at his handsome features.

"You're delusional, now stay awake and I'm bringing you Cheetos." He said and got up from the bathroom counter he was sitting on. I inspected the bandages on my wrist, admiring his handiwork.

He came back in with a big fluffy towel and a bowl of Cheetos. He helped me out of the bathtub and wrapped the towel around me. He then helped me into bed. And handed me the bowl of Cheetos.

"I can sleep after I eat right?" I asked yawning and stuffing another cheeto in my mouth.

"Yes" He answered and laid down beside me, his warmth encompassed me entirely.

"I don't want anyone to save me except for you." I said and snuggled onto his chest.

He paused. And then took a deep breath.

"His name was ethan, ethan tyler and he was the most amazing being that has ever been on this earth.He was 6 when he died. But I raised him, he was all mine and he was the first person I ever loved. My parents, aren't around at all. I've only met them twice in my lifetime.

My life was filled with nannies and caretakers. I was a mistake to them and I guess ethan was too because after 8 years of being unwanted I could tell that the baby was too. So I'd scare away the nannies with my pyro technics and id take care of him all by myself when I could, since our tutor was so advanced. He was my little brother, the best thing that had ever happened to me. We would play tag, watch the sunset, get into trouble, and even go into town or sneak away on adventures.

But one day he had found one of the guns that were hidden in the house and it didn't have the safety on. My parents, the help, everyone thought that I had it. I was a problem child with fires and vandalism, so it made sense to them that I would murder my own brother for attention.They had all the evidence to put me away from it. His blood all over me from when I cradled him in my arms and my prints on the gun when I lifted it from his lifeless hands. I lost a part of my soul that day. Instead of putting me in couseling or getting me anykind of help, they used their money to hide it.

They completely wiped off his existence from the world. Had his medical fires deleted and burned. My parents bribed all the people we had come in contact with, and they made it out to the society that I was their only child. They never asked once what happened, they didn't care as long as it didn't tarnish their reputation." Erik finished, his eyes were closed and his lashes were thick with tears. Tears came from my eyes as well.

"Erik.." I started.

"I cant lose you too Cynthia, I don't want to have to forget about you." He said meeting his gaze with mine. Earth and sea. My euphoria was here, with erik. Not with cutting, not with drugs. We could heal eachother. We could move on together.

"You won't have to forget about me." I whispered and he pulled me into his addictive embrace.