SOBER IN THE CITY

Whore(able)

April 16th at 4:31PM by Sara [163 comments]

We spent the next 15 minutes reminiscing about our favorite eps of "Sex and the City," and deciding which character we were (Ashley was a cool and sexy "Samantha," Tizzie opted for "Charlotte" because of her love-obsessed ways and I was totally a "Carrie").

I'd been sort of hoping that the girls would forget about the meeting and that we could just sit at Starbucks the rest of the night gabbing about TV shows and their stars, but eventually Ashley looked at her cell phone and announced to the table that the meeting was starting in 10.

"Ugh," Tizzie said, shaking as if she'd just gotten the shivers. "I'd almost forgotten how nervous I am!"

"What're you nervous about?" I asked, feeling like we'd just bonded enough that I could pry a little.

We gathered our stuff and tossed our trash in a bin near the door.

Ashley patted Tizzie on the back and then gave her a grin. "Tiz is qualifying tonight!" she exclaimed, as Tizzie pulled a face at both of us. "She has six months today."

"No way!" I said, surprised that this was the first time the news was being brought up. "Wow. And I thought nine days was a long time. Six months must feel like an eternity."

I was suddenly embarrassed around my new friends regarding my lack of sober time and simultaneously surprised to realize that I did already look at them as "friends."

"Nine days is a big deal, Sar," Tizzie said, placing her hand on my shoulder and squeezing it tightly. "The obsession is so much stronger at the beginning than when you've had a little time away from it. It's way easier for me to stay sober now that I've been doing it for a while. It's become more of a habit not to drink."

What she was saying sort of made sense, but I still couldn't imagine going six months—180 days—without a single alcoholic beverage.

How boring would that be?

The weird thing was that Tizzie seemed like she was having so much fun with life. Just looking at her and observing her cheerleader-esque upbeat demeanor and carefree attitude, you'd think the girl had never experienced a bad day in her life. I certainly couldn't imagine her fighting an addiction.

She was just too...perfect.

We walked the rest of the way to the meeting in collective silence, which promptly ended as soon as we arrived at the doors of the church.

People all around us were dressed up in suits and beautiful dresses and were greeting each other with warm smiles and even warmer hugs. If I hadn't been with Ashley and Tizzie, I would've questioned whether I was in the right place.

But then I started to hear the conversations around me and was brought back to reality.

"I made amends to my old boss last night and he was actually really cool about it when I told him I'd been the one who'd stolen all the petty cash."

"I found myself wandering down blocks of bars, wishing I could just go inside and have a drink..."

"My sponsor said I could ask her out after I have 90 days."

I listened to the chatter going on around me and watched quietly as people began to wander up to Tizzie and Ashley to say hello. I tried to fall back and blend into the background, but Ashley saw me wouldn't have it and quickly pulled me toward her and linked our arms. Then, to my embarrassment and sudden discomfort, she introduced me to every single stranger that walked up to us.