I Only Told the Moon

Love exposed

I trudged up to my room after a fun time with Alycia at the arcade but I was still holding the burden of Camila on my back. I was still struggling with accepting what happened and trying hard not to love her so much. Even her face of guilt was so beautiful. She is the essence of beauty. I can't get enough of her. I hate that even when she treats me like second class I run back to her. I throw my bag down and crawl out onto the roof. I set myself in my position with my arms behind my head again.
"Hey Moon long time no talk. It's been awhile and a lot has happened. I made it to nationals so there's that but Camila didn't come. She's be neglecting me recently. All because of dorito boy. I know it isn't healthy to keep this bottled inside but Moon you know you're the only one who cares about any of what I have to say. She's happy, very happy, the happiest I've seen her and her happiness gives me joy. I love to see that smile on her face, the smile she gets whenever he's around. Her pearly whites, her soft curve on her lips. Her laugh sounds brighter these days but her personality it's changed. She's not the same at least not to me. She's more reckless. She's doing things she would never do if it wasn't for her boyfriend. My fear is that his pressure and the pressure she feels to fit in with his friends will escalate until she can't remember who she was. She can't remember the studious, disciplined, intelligent girl she truly is and always has been. I don't know why she affects me like this. She has this control over me that I can have a outburst realizing I can't swim cause she's not there. She makes me forgive her straight away no matter the offense. Her brown eyes so persuasive and so beautiful. Everything of her is beautiful and I'm still hung up on her unfortunately. That's the basic gist Moon, it's been a long night and I need to head to sleep but I'll tell you again like I've told you many times before I am still in love with my best friend. Sincerely yours. Grayson." I sigh breathing in fresh air before walking through window focused on not falling. I look up and my heart speeds up everything begins to cave in.
"You like me?" She asks.
"I love you."
"What?" She's shocked and confused.
"I think you're the most beautiful person in the entire world. I love everything about you. I always saw your imperfections and perfection and your weaknesses as strengths. You have such a beautiful soul and mind and your exterior matches the interior to da the least. I'm sorry but now that you know I want you to know it all. Exactly how I feel."
"I never knew you felt this way about me."
"I know." I chuckle.
"Why didn't you ever tell me?"
"I only ever told the moon."
"Damn well how long?"
"Seventh grade."
"Seventh...holy shitaki mushrooms." She runs her hand through her hair.
"So you'd sit out there every night for four years professing your love to me?"
"Uh...yeah."
"Wow. Ok this is a lot to process." She sits down on the edge of my bed her hands on her forehead.
"I know it is and I'm sorry you had to find out this way." There's silence for minutes. Long minutes. The clock ticking our only signification that time had not frozen in that moment. I looked forward unsure of what to do now.
"You're going to have to get over this." She says.
"What?"
"Yeah I can't have his. This won't work everything is too god with Austin and you know I've been pining for him for years. I finally got him and I'm not letting that go." I sigh.
"Yeah I get it."
"Do you?"
"Yes Camila. Don't worry I'm not trying to come between you and Austin. I didn't even want you to find out because that would ruin our friendship."
"Does anybody else know?"
"No I told you I only told the moon. The closest anyone ever got was how close we are and their own made up assumptions."
"You can't tell anyone this could ruin my image."
"Really Mika you're dealing with my emotions and all you can think about is your image."
"Look things are different. I'm popular now. I'm dating the hottest guy in the school. My life is perfect. Do not mess that up with your stupid fantasy."
"Wow. I ou really have turned into a cold hearted bitch."
"Excuse me for not returning your feelings."
"Well what do you expect when you've practically treated me like your boyfriend for the last four years. I did everything for you. All I wanted was to call you mine and kiss your lips that's he only elevation needed for us to go from friends to something else."
"Please stop Grayson! Don't talk about it anymore. You know what? Just get over it. I don't know a nicer way to say it but you've gotta move on. Please. I don't see you that way at all. Like at all. Like not even attractive. Like no."
"I get it Camila. I'm sorry for ever having a heart and letting it take control."
"Grayson stop it's not like that and you know it. Look I'll forget this ever happened. We can be best friends again alright?"
"Yeah ok." I agree.
"Good. I still love you but as a best friend, like a brother alright?" I nod. We don't hug, it would just make the situation worse. She leaves and I sit wallowing in my regret and sadness. I don't cry because I won't let her have that control over me. I instead take a shower a hot shower. A steam shower. I lean my head against the wall ahead of me as I think about the consequences of what just happened. Things could not be worse. Absolutely not. I always dreamed of the day in the farther future when I'd tell her how I feel and she's smile and hug me and we'd be together but she doesn't even care, at all. All she cares about is her image. She doesn't care about me.

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The days went on and things were awkward for a long time then she invited me over for a movie night with Austin and his friends. Her I got there initially it appeared to be a normal hang out nothing too crazy or wild until Sinhue and Alejandro left. Once her parents left things changed. Austin and his friends brought out vodka and joints. They lit up joints in Camila's house. The kept offering it to me but I refused.
"Come on Grayson just try some."
"No I'm an athlete I can't do that. It breaks my rules of code of conduct."
"Come on seasons over and no one ever checks your pee."
"No one ever checks your pee. I compete internationally and they get serious about drugs and sterilizes and stuff. I'm tested every month."
"Whatever dude." He takes another drag. Camila rolls her eyes when I finished talking. Austin offers her the joint and she accepts it take a deep puff as though it's normal and she releases it into the air. The next time around Austin takes a drag then kisses Camila passionately as smoke seps out the sides of their mouths. The entire night they'd been purposely making out and such in front of me. Camila was still trying to make it clear that we had no chance which I find ridiculous. He was giving her hickies and vice versa in front of people. How's that ok? It got to a point that I was uncomfortable so I excused myself to the bathroom. I walked upstairs and heard knocking on one of the doors. I walked up to it and opened it slowly seeing Sofi leaning against the wall with the doll in her hand. Sh looks up and sees me jumping on me.
"Grayson."
"Hey Butterfly princess." I say using my nickname for her.
"What're you doing knocking on the door."
"I'm hungry. Mika locked me in here without food and I have to pee too."
"Are you kidding me?"
"No. She's been different since that boy came around. She's been meaner. She didn't play butterfly kingdom with me."
"Aww baby I'm sorry. Next time you come play with Sepha and I'll play butterfly kingdom with you ok?" She nods with an excited smile.
"Let's get you to the bathroom ok?" She nods and I lift her up and take her to the bathroom down the hall waiting outside for her to finish. I bring her back to her room and give her a protein bar I had in my pocket.
"I'm sorry Cami didn't make you dinner."
"It's ok. I like this bar." She shrugs.
"You shouldn't have to eat that. Next time Cami wants to have friends over tell your Mami and Papi that Grayson and Sepha would love to take care of you. You can do your homework and play with Sepha. I'd make sure that you were fed ok?" She nods.
"I have to go now baby but I'm not going to lock your door. Don't tell Cami ok?" She nods before giving me a tight hug.
"Thank you."
"Of course princess. See you later." I leave the room and head back downstairs.
"What took you so long Gray?" Camila asks.
I roll my eyes grabbing my coat.
"Next time you want to have friends over Camila send your little sister to my house where she'll be fed and allowed to use the bathroom instead of locking her up like a prisoner." I open the door and close the door behind me before going back to my house and laying down o. My bed. What is wrong with her?