Ego {Completed}

Chapter 25

Chapter 25

~*~*~November~*~*~

"You sure that's everything?" Shawn's voice echoed in the empty room as he made his way towards me. I nodded silently as my tears stung my eyes, threatening to spill over. When he got a better look at my face, he frowned. "What's the matter?"
I shrugged and mustered a somewhat smile. "It's just bittersweet." I wiped away a tear that had fallen. "This was my first real house, you know? And, to be honest with you, I'm kind of scared."
Stepping closer to me, he wrapped his arms around my widened waist and kissed my forehead. "What are you scared of?"
I sighed and allowed myself to lean against him, but not too much. "I've been living on my own since I moved out of my mom's house. Even when I was engaged, I still had my own apartment. I've never just completely depended on someone else."
"Baby," he pulled me back so I was looking in his eyes. "Nothing is gonna happen between us. And even if something did, I would never just leave you hanging."
I smiled, truly believing every word he said. "I know. It's just a first for me. First times are always scary, right?"
He answered my woes and worries with another forehead kiss.

Over the past three months, Shawn and I have talked a lot, mostly about me moving in with him. I was actually the one to bring it up, and I appreciated it so much that he didn't pester me about it. I didn't realize how much I wanted to constantly be with him until I almost spent a night without him.
With all my raging hormones, it was very easy for me to get pissed off, and one night, Shawn pushed exactly the right button. We got into an argument over something incredibly silly, and I decided to go to my own house. I wasn't through the door for five minutes before I felt a lonely ache in my chest due to his absence. I knew that our argument was petty and pointless, and the ache in my chest overpowered the pride in my heart. I was planning on walking back to my car and driving back to his place, but little did I know, he had decided to follow me home anyway. As soon as I opened the door, he was standing there on the porch, leaning against the column, as if he knew that I would come back eventually.

Seeing him come after me like that, yet patiently wait for me to come to him when I got ready, made me fall in love with him even more. It also proved to me that he cared about me. He didn't chastise me for running off, and he didn't complain about having to make the drive over here. He just held me in his arms as I cried and apologized for being so rash. He apologized too, although even I knew he wasn't really in the wrong.
At that point, I figured that we really didn't need two houses. If I ever got upset again, the distance between the master and the guest room is much shorter than the distance between our houses. And considering how quickly I went back, I figured I really didn't need to live away from him.

As he suggested months ago, we decided to move into his place because there is more space. More room for us to grow, he says. I haven't admitted it yet, but I would absolutely love to have another baby with him. Every day I wake up, I feel more and more in love with both him and our daughter. Some days, I feel like I couldn't possibly be more in love, but my love still grows. My love has grown so much that sometimes when I look at him, my heart just hurts. And there are times when I wake up in the middle of the night, I can feel him rubbing and kissing my belly. That gesture alone makes my heart glow for him. But sometimes, I can just barely hear him whispering to our daughter through the delicate skin of mu belly. He tells her how much he loves her and how happy he is to have her in his life. Then he tells her how much he loves me and how the two of us are the best thing that has ever happened to him.
At those times, I lay very still, and I let my tears of overwhelming love silently fall down my cheeks. I know he doesn't know that I'm awake and can hear him in those moments, so I know he means every word of what he says.

I've never had a man love me like that. My own father walked in and out of my life like I wasn't good enough for him to stay and love me. Then Terrance walked away from me like I meant nothing. And while Shawn did leave me too at one time, he came back, and he proves himself to me every single day that he'll never hurt me again.
Another conversation we had was about my fear of love. We were pillow talking and it was somewhere between late at night and early in the morning.