Rants and other monstrous things

Update!

      I'm fine, I'm doing better and it's spring break. I kind of wish I was still in school cause it helps me keep my mind off of things. I think you guys know what, and if you don't know...  I wasn't updating because my friend passed away. I hate that he was taken from us and I was mad and sad for a very long time. He isn't just my friend but he is my family. He is my brother, and I lost a brother. He joined the hospital because he had something called AVM in his brain. A tendon burst near his brain stem and he went into a coma. This happened on the 18 of January. He was declared brain dead about a month later, and the hope that he could hear us and wake up was crushed. 2 days after that, the family removed his ventalator (his life support) and donated his organs to 7 kids. He saved 7 kids' lives. He is a hero. He prevented 7 families from experiencing what his family and friends went through. Those two days were the worst. I didn't find out until a day before they took him off of life support. My mom took me and my brother out of school to go see him one last time. I tried so hard not to cry that day. I stayed with him until 2 am in the ICU. I'm Indian so you have to burn the body at the funeral. I went to the pooja, prayed for him with the priest, and then went to the hall where everyone came and put flowers on his body. After everyone leaves, the family and close friends stay to say goodbye before the men go and burn his body. I'm just going to tell you now. That coffin was way to small. I hugged his body, said a prayer, kissed his too cold cheek and said goodbye. That feeling of loss can crush you if you succumb to the emotion. So, you learn to channel that loss, into logic and religion. So I told myself for a while that he is with god, he is watching over us and that he has reached a level of purity that very few souls could reach. He was down to earth, forgiving, and kind not only to humans, but to everything. He was only 10 years old. He turned vegetarian just because he believed hurting animals was wrong. He didn't even eat eggs because he considered them to have life too. He was very religious, understood god in a way a regular person never could and he was brave. He was brave enough to leave his family and this world to serve and protect god. He left to become a life force of god. He was brave enough to love. He loved everyone with such purity that it was scary. He left an impact on so many people. After I thought about all of this for a while, I let go. I stopped being mad at god for taking him. I accepted it. It's the hardest thing I've done. His mom isn't doing well at all. All she is feeling is agony over losing her 10-year old child. His father is not ok, but he believes that they can get over this and move on. He is hiding all of his sorrow and grief because the mother is doing so bad. His older brother is also doing the same. He is in his first year of college and skipped this semester. He puts up a brave front but he is feeling nothing but sorrow. He is just hiding it like his dad for his mom. His mom is forgetting that she has another kid to take care of and he is feeling abandoned. Please please please pray or do anything to help them. I'm going to stop typing or this will make me start sobbing again. Thank you for reading this and I hope you understand why I'm not updating. He is the bravest person I know and he is a hero. He didn't deserve this. Sorry this was long. I just needed to tell someone about what I was feeling.