Fake It 'Til You Make It

|11| Doodles and Wants

A few days later, I was still thrust into herd known as the 'popular crowd'. I had met the day with a brand new determination. I was determined to see just how far this would take me.

I sat at the back of my first period class, American History 2, with Tala chatting away beside me. Asher, the rude boy from yesterday, somehow ended up next to me. As the teacher droned on and on, Tala and Cara couldn't stop snickering and whispering.

We were supposed to be taking notes, but half of the class obviously didn't care. A few notes were passed between three girls ahead of me and some boys to the right couldn't stop texting. Well, that is until the teacher walked right up to them and plucked the phones out of their grasps.

Mr. Gonzales didn't seem like that strict of a teacher. He was middle aged with some hair still clinging to his head. Yet, even as a new student, I could tell he had a line to draw.

I glanced down at my notebook. My messy scrawl littered the page in the purple ink Tala had lent to me. It was so difficult to pay attention with the snickers and whispers around me.

I caught Vienna's cause across the room and she silently laughed. I rolled my eyes as she turned back towards the teacher. We had been on good terms since she came home, found the note, and we hugged it out. She promised to try and be a better sister and so did I.

You could tell she didn't care about taking notes by the way she leaned back in her chair. Her arms were folded across her chest and she even had her legs on the desk. Mr. Gonzales, who heavily relied on his PowerPoints, still hadn't noticed. She had this whole 'badass chic' thing going on. But I could see past it.

I turned to Asher and had this burst of determination. He wasn't the only person who had chewed me out. However, if I was going to get everyone to like me, I had to start somewhere. Besides, he seemed nice to everyone else. Maybe he just needed to warm up to me.

"Hey, Asher," I whispered.

No response.

I repeated the sentence louder with still no response. Okay, now I was sure he was ignoring me. So, I lightly tapped his arm.

"Yes?" His expression didn't seem very friendly.

"Um..." I trailed off. I hadn't really planned what I was going to say. "I just want to know what you have against me." Sometimes honest questions are the best way to go.

He seemed to ponder this for a second.

"I mean, I didn't mean to do anything to upset you. I'm just here to make friends." The old Adalaide threatened to come out and tell how how annoyed and upset I really felt. Or how clueless. But the new Ada was nicer and chirpier.

He let out a deep breath, eyes scanning the people around him. All of his friends were caught up in conversations anyways. "Well, to be completely honest, I like my friend group the way it is."

I nearly roll my eyes. What a stereotypical popular. "Oh."

His eyes seem to hold something else, something he hadn't yet spoken. "I have reasons. It's not that you're not nice or anything. It's just anytime someone joins the group, they want something."

My eyebrows shoot up. This wasn't what I was expecting.

"They just want popularity. That's it. They don't actually want to be my friend. Or they want something more with one of us. Like, a sexual relationship. The people that have built their way up, these people I've been with for who knows how long, save a few, are people I know I can trust."

Something twists in the pit of my stomach. As much as I tried to convince myself otherwise, all I wanted was to become popular, to make a name for myself. Here I was blaming Asher for judging me for exactly what I was.