Fake It 'Til You Make It

|25| Lydia

When I walked into my room that night, I found a note lying on my vanity. It was neatly folded, and when I opened the rose-red paper, I found a familiar handwriting littering the page. It read: I'm sorry Rich and I haven't been around much, but I see that Carson and Vienna have been taking a liking to you. If you'd like, we can go shopping this weekend, or whatever you want to do. I know I'm not your mother, but I want to at least bond with you.

-Melanie

I smiled slightly. Unlike my actual mom, she was trying. Setting the note back on my vanity, I let out a sigh and glanced in the mirror. Mascara had smeared under my eyes and something in my eyes looked dull and tired. Not physically, but rather tired of certain people and the headaches that came with them. Like Cara and Lexus and their friend, Amara. Like Chris. My heart dropped to my stomach yet again. Chris, the boy who I drunkenly kissed. The guy who I thought would make a good friend. Man, I didn't have the best luck with boys. But, there was Asher. A guy was my friend for who I really was, and didn't flinch away when I revealed a sensitive part of myself, or the whole fake it 'til you make it thing. But, I didn't need to fake it with him. The only thing I really needed to fake was being strong. Strong enough to deal with whatever crap people were about to throw my way. I sure had a way with making enemies. But I couldn't forget my friends.

I took my time preparing for bed. The sun hadn't set. In fact, I had just returned from school. Nonetheless, I threw on a comfortable top and pajama pants, scrubbed off my makeup, and flopped into my bed. Then, I pulled the covers tighter around me, flicking on my television and proceeding to watch a random show. South Park was on, so I watched it. I allowed myself to sigh. Allowed myself to worry a little. Worry about Amelia, my parents, even my friends. Allowed myself to crack a bit, ever so slightly. Yet, I wouldn't let anyone get to me. Not again, not after all of that drinking to impress. Amara and her cronies could throw whatever the hell they wanted at me.

My eyes began to droop shut. I had planned to just relax, not actually sleep. Yet, my body wanted to sleep, so that's what I started to do, pulling the warm covers tighter around me. Then, someone just had to fling open my door.

I lazily opened an eye, kind of used to people barging into my room unannounced. Of course, it had to be Lydia of all people. Her dress was not appropriate for someone of her age, and her makeup made me cringe. I wasn't one to say someone was wearing too much makeup because I enjoyed makeup myself. But, I guess there was a fat line between wearing makeup confidently and looking like you just pounded your face with any makeup you could find. Besides, she was, what, a year or two younger than me, and I was sixteen. For a moment, I wondered what made her the way she was; what made her come across as mean and shallow and someone who grew up way too fast.

"Well, the adults in this town finally decided to give a damn and found out I was driving by myself with a learner's permit. So, guess who needs a ride."

What surprised me the most was the fact that the adults decided to give a damn, to be perfectly honest. "Why should I give you a ride? Ask Carson or Vienna."

"They're not home yet," she childishly whined. She was right. Asher had given me a ride home because Carson needed to stay after school and Vienna was doing- well I didn't know.

"Start walking," I smirked, turning back to South Park.

"Do you want money? Anything? Trust me, you're not someone I like. But, I need a ride somewhere and it's important. I'd drive anyways but I was warned that if I was caught one more time instead of a one month suspension, which I was told I was lucky to get, I wouldn't be able to get my actual license until eighteen. So, you're my half-sister. Please help a sister out."