Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door? ( Ryan Ross X Reader)

Stay where I can see you douse the lights.

Ryan's POV:
I walked out the door, closing it with a bang. Its all my fault. I shouldn't have let anyone come close to me.
Anyone who comes close to me always ends up getting hurt. Even Y/N is gonna end up like that.
No, I can't let that happen.
She has a future ahead of her. A future she can look forward to.
Whereas my future has nothing but darkness. I don't deserve her.
I should leave her life.
As my head buzzed with all these thoughts, I didn't notice where my legs took me.
Within seconds, I found myself in front of a hell hole which I called 'home'.
As I opened the door, the smell of alcohol hit me, making me wrinkle up my nose in disgust at the sight of what I found inside.
The house was messier than ever with empty beer and alcohol bottles lying here and there. Cobwebs hung in the ceilings and there was a thick and fine inch of dust on the floors and furniture.
My eyes found my father lying in a corner of the floor. Apparently passed out.
I looked at him in disgust and made my way to his room which was once shared between him and my mom.
I found the photograph of me, mom and dad stashed in a corner of his bedside cabinet.
As I picked it up and gazed at it, a single drop of tear fell on the glass covering the photo. We all looked so happy in it. This was before my dad started drinking and abusing me and my mom. My mom had gotten fed up of being constantly abused and had gotten a divorce leaving me alone with him. The longer I gazed at it, an uncontrollable feeling of anger and frustration build up inside me until I couldn't take it anymore. I threw the photograph across the room. The glass covering the photo shattered into pieces just like our family.
I stormed up to my room and opened the door, slamming it shut.
I sat on my bed and tried to calm down.
This is all your fault.
Shit! The voices were coming back. I thought they had stopped. But here they are. Back again, louder and more insistent than ever.

You left her alone. You're stupid. You're useless.
No, I'm not useless. I'm not useless.
But the voices in my head were stronger. I feel like dying.

Go. Die. Kill yourself. Free yourself from this pain. No one cares for you anyways.
I guess the voices are right. I should die. Who cares about me anyways?
I wanna get rid of this pain.

Kill yourself. You deserve to die.
Yes. I deserve to die.
I'll kill myself. I guess everyone's life will be so much easier when I'm gone.
I walked out of my house and called Brendon and Y/N for the last time.
Hello Ryan? Where're you? Are you fine?
I just called to say goodbye.
What?
I'll never come back again. I guess you're happy now, aren't you?
What? Ryan! No! Wai-

I hung up and threw my phone away.
I'm ready to die.

_______________________________________

There's a plot twist coming up.