Mr. Personal Trainer (#The2017 Awards)

The Red Dress!!

Hello EveryOne!!

Here I am again with Mr Trainer...

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Five days later was the day of my birthday. It was the third week of December and we were facing a rather chilly winter. The year was coming to an end.

A year ago, I wasn't engaged. There wasn't Arjun in my life..No one to make me feel alive..No one to make me feel that I could love or think about that foreign thing...

That was one day..And today is another. The two look so different; far away from each other, farther than the time gap that separates them.

So I was supposed to celebrate this day with my fiancé but I didn't. Saral's business intervened again..the day before yesterday , unlike me, my fiancé did go to the airport to take a flight and meet his clients in London. It was unplanned. What was actually planned was called off. So that it hurt less, I was offered by an appropriate word—Postponed!!

Every message that arrived on my phone wishing me happy birthday made me irked.

The kind of pain that you can't share with people is worse than one is apparent. Worst of all is the kind you have to defend. Justifying the reasons that you yourself don't buy.

" It was urgent work.." I told people when they asked me about Saral's gift

Why am I giving this explanations?

I had to sound convincing enough for others to belive how badly Saral wanted to take me out and celebrate my birthday..but then the client wouldn't understand. The fiancé has to!!

Amidst explaining my situations to others, there were moments when I ended up explaining myself.

Why I am depressed? After all, saral and my alliance began with him calling off our wedding for sake of his work..back then, I needed that time alone to know my fience, before I settle down in a new house that I supposed to call home..In comparison to cancelling and rescheduling the wedding to a later date, postponing birthday celebration isn't that bad

Or it is??

No, its not!! Wedding happens only once. Birthdays are for lifetime..

But then why am I feeling this miserable about all this?

I don't know. Perhaps , its fresh ache. Our relationship continues to lose its sparks. I wanted to use this day to reinvent things for both of us..I had never needed it as bad as I needed it now. This was time I was looking forward to get undivided attension from him. When he is away from his clents and work. But just with me. When he is building not structures but our relationship.

This birthday celebration was also supposed to celebrate my transformation, I had spent past eight months to reinvent myself. I wanted to celebrate the body I had built with so much hard work by wearing the dress that would look good on me.

Even though Saral had noticed and admired the change in me but I wanted him to show a deeper interest in me. A day would have been a perfect opening to initiate a meaningful conversation with Saral.

I wanted to use this opportunity to move far away from Arjun..to made my heart not to think about him but my fiancé.

But then that's not happening now.

I was trying to contemplate the meaning of my life , if there was any, when my phone beeped.

" How's birthday celebration going on, babes? ;-) " it was Sam.