This is a Bad Idea (Destiel Teacher x Student AU)

Chapter 5

Castiel

The large building looked down at Castiel almost teasingly. He stopped, looking up at the menacing building in front of him with a scowl. Whatever lies in wait here, Castiel knew he wasn't ready for it. He had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach that something bad was going to happen, he couldn't shake it, so instead he sighed and tried to focus his attention to the music playing through his earbuds while he continued his journey into the prison like school.

*~*

For the first period of the day, Castiel was feeling pretty confident that he would get through the day. Charlie had obviously noticed his darkened bags and groggy attitude but didn't say anything, for which he was immensely grateful. And for the rest of his group, they also kept their mouths shut, continuing their endless conversations without a second thought about Cas and his mental state. Sure they were worried, Cas would think. they just didn't want to set him off.

Castiel hoped that he was right about his friends. He really didn't want to loose them. Sure they had began to drift away slowly from him over the years, but that didn't mean they weren't his friends anymore. Right?

It was during the middle of his second period, while Mrs. Harvelle droned on about the packet they were going to be given, these thoughts had somehow slipped into Cas' head. He knew that this couldn't have been true.... but.... there was always that small doubt that nagged at him. What if?

Why was Castiel like this? Why must he find the bad in almost everything? Why can't he just be normal and happy like the rest of the people in his classes? Cas furrowed his eyebrows, looking down at the desk in front of him. By now almost every depressing outcome for his future with his friends had flashed across his mind and he could feel himself slipping away from reality.

Charlie looked over at her best friend sadly. His shoulders were slumped while his head hung, his eyes seemed to be staring off at nothing. His hands were folded in his lap, clenching and unclenching while his face stayed stony and emotionless. She reached over to his hands in his lap and took one in her own while looking up at him with fragile and expecting eyes, like any sudden movement would make him break or go over the edge. His head whipped to look at his red headed best friend with an almost terrified look in his eyes. But it was soon replaced with shock as he looked down at their intertwined hands. He quickly took back his own hand and spun back around to Mrs. Harvelles lecture.

Castiel could see hurt flash across Charlie's features out of the corner of his eye. He didn't want to look back at her though. He had already screwed up their relationship with his depressing attitude towards everyone and everything. Why would she want to be friends with him anyway? He should just distance himself off so she doesn't have to put up with his shit anymore. That would be best. Maybe not for Castiel, but for Charlie.

Cas' eyebrows knitted together as he could feel tears sting in the back of his eyes. No. Not today. He thought and blinked rapidly, trying his best not to let his emotions break though. How had he let thoughts escalated so quickly? It was only a moment later that the bell shrieked making Castiel jump out of his thoughts.

He grasped his blue notebook tightly as he gathered his things and left Charlie behind who was scrambling to catch up with him. He wanted to go back to her and apologize. He really did. But... he can't let his silly emotions cloud his judgment. This is best. He thought while trying to keep his stone face through all the emotions running through him.

He let his feet go on autopilot to his next hour while he focused on controlling himself. He felt like he could explode at any minute. What was stopping him? Well the fact that he would be attracting so much attention to himself. He was currently shoving his way through groups of people trying his very best not to scream at some of the people who bump into his shoulder accidentally. But it wasn't until he walked into his next class that he remembered.....