Lucifer's angel

chapter 17

"Dear Diary, being a high powered business president is super-fun. But sooo exhausting. Sometimes, I just need to relax. I need Casa Erotica." A knock came from the door.

"Room Service!" a voice called.

"Come in! " the woman answered

"Gabriel wanted you to guard this with your life?" Sam was confused.

"Maybe he's a fan. It is a good one." Dean shrugged.

The door to the hotel room opened and Gabriel appeared, wearing a mustache and a service waiter's outfit.

"I've got the kielbasa you ordered. " Gabe spoke.

"Ooh. Polish?" The woman asked.

"Hungarian." Gabe tossed the dish onto the mantle and started to kiss the woman.

Sam and Dean looked disgusted.

Gaberiel passionately kissed the woman, while feeling her up and down, erotically. Both were moaning.

"What the hell's going on? " Sam raised his eyebrow.

Gabe turned to the camera, removed his mustache and began to speak, breaking the fourth wall of the film.

"Sam, Dean. You're probably wondering what the hell is going on. Well, if you're watching this, I'm dead. Oh please! Stop sobbing, it's embarrassing for all of us. Without me, you've got zero shot at killing Lucifer, sorry! But can trap him. The cage you sprung Lucifer from? It's still down there. And maybe, just maybe, you can shove his ass back in. Not that it'll be easy. You gotta get the cage open, trick my bro back into it. And uh, oh yeah, avoid Michael and the God Squad. Get back in touch with Leia, she can help you, you know being an Angel and all. Just call for her aloud and she should come. But hey, details, right? And here's the big secret, Lucifer himself doesn't even know -- the key to the cage? It's out there. Actually it's keys, plural. Four keys, well, four rings. From the Horsemen. You get 'em all, you got the cage. Can't say I'm betting on you boys. But, uh, hey! I've been wrong before. And Dean, you were right. I was afraid to stand up to my brother, not any more. So this is me, standing up. "

"And this is, me, lying down. " He grabbed the woman, and threw her on the bed. Sam and Dean looked confused, then disturbed before Sam quickly closed the laptop.

"Oh, uh, oh! Oh man! " Sam reacted.

"Horsemen, huh? Well we got War's. We nicked Famine's. That's two down. Collect all four? All we need is Pestilence and Death. " Dean spoke

"Oh, is that all?" Sam laughed

"It's a plan. Leia can help us with it I'm sure" Dean spoke. Sam nodded and got into the passenger seat of the impala. Dean took his place behind the wheel and drove away.

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Pestilence pulled up to a general store on the side of the road. He was driving a green car that was clearly and audibly a clunker, dirty and in need of repair.

A store clerk read the newspaper behind the counter. The store is otherwise empty. A fly landed on his paper, and as he readied his swatter, Pestilence entered the store, and the fly got away. Pestilence appeared very ill. He sneezed and rubbed mucus-covered hands all over everything, as he searched for what he wanted. More flies are accumulated around the store clerk. Pestilence grabbed a box of "Flu Arrest".

"This stuff make you drowsy? Got a lot of driving to do. " He asked.

"Blue ones make you sleepy. Red and orange ones are okay for day time." The clerk replied Pestilence walked to the counter, then sneezed all over the clerks face, and covered him in mucus.

"This is awful." He coughed before exiting the store and driving off.