seasonal change || graire ✔️

Chapter 14

~Claire's POV~

      It's already been two months since I left Mineral Town. I am here again in the city, working, earning some, and having my brother beside me. It makes feel quite comfortable knowing that I am back here and living the way of life I used to live, but still, I don't know. I missed Mineral Town so much. The atmosphere there just feels so light. Everyone would always have a smile on their faces, as if they have no worries at all. The town itself seems to be so carefree, like it does not face many problems. I wonder how the people are doing right now. I missed them, especially my friends. Especially Gray.

     Gray Williams is a one true friend for me. Though he acts all cool and grumpy, he's really sweet inside. But I wonder if he's still the same stubborn guy that I know. I was so dense towards his feelings. I didn't know I was hurting him already. I was too naive to realize his feelings. I was admiring the Doctor so much that I forget his presence beside me. And lately, I started to understand everything that happened in between us. Maybe it was because I wasn't spending time with him that much, and more with the Doctor, that's why it came to this.

You're so stupid, Claire. I said to myself. You're really stupid.

     I wouldn't deny the fact. I am really stupid. And I know that, because I never thought of his feelings before I satisfy myself. And the result: I lost my friendship with him. And that sucks. Because whenever he crosses my mind, I would always feel guilt. Guilt because I caused him pain. Guilt because I've always paid attention to the Doctor and less attention to him. Guilt because I'm not always by his side when he needed me. And regret because, I haven't fulfilled my role to him as a friend.

     I miss him, so much. I miss those moments that I had with him. His visits to the farm and him helping me out, those lunch at the Inn, then the memories at the Mountain Peak. Just everything. I remembered when I first became friends with him. It was the day when I accidentally bumped on him and he acted all grumpy. I thought he's like that, all hot-headed. But when we had that talk at the spring, I realized that he was a good person.

"Claire, we need to go now." Jack told me, as I went outside of the house.

"Sure."

     I felt the change in my life this past two months. I am happy with my brother, yes it's true, but the happiness I felt with them was an entirely different story. And if I can just go back again there, I would really love to. I would love to spend time with them again. But I know it's just impossible to happen now. I left them. And I don't deserve their kindness now. It's just too much.

   I wish I could just change everything. I wish that I can rewrite my story. Because as the days pass by with me away from them, I started to realize that the happiest memories that I had with them were also the most painful ones. Because no matter how hard I pray for the time to turn back, it won't turn back. And all I can do is to reminisce everything and cry.

I miss Mineral Town. I miss my friends. And most of all...

I miss Gray Williams.