seasonal change || graire ✔️

Chapter 25

T R E N T

"Please come back if you feel worse," I said as I gave the prescribed medicine. "The clinic is always open for you."

"Thanks. I'm heading off." then the patient left.

     After he was gone, I closed the clinic. Elli had decided to take a rest, so she went to her room. And as for me, I wanted to do the same thing, but I'm sure I wouldn't be able to. Ever since the last talk with Claire, here at the Clinic, I've always been feeling restless. She had me thinking twice about my decision of proving myself to her. The replies she would give me everytime we would talk, those would always get me disheartened. For me, it sounds like she's really trying to get me discouraged so that I would stop pushing myself to her. She's really doing these things to me so I would stop acting like a pathetic fool towards her.

     I just sat back on my seat, placing my hands on the back of my neck, heaving out a sigh as a sign that I am thoroughly distressed about this one. Every action I make seems futile, because it does nothing to fix our seemingly broken relationship. It does not compensate for whatever mistake I've done to her. No matter how hard I work just to show her that I'm still worth to be her friend— no, to be more than just her friend, no matter how I try my best to prove to her that I love her even if I look all ridiculous in front of the townspeople, it's still nothing. She just keeps on neglecting my efforts and chases after Gray Williams, instead.

      And yeah, I'm totally jealous of that shit. He's got all of Claire's attention, and he did not leave me anything, not even a single ounce of chance. I can see it, how Claire treasures this jerk of a guy that he is. It makes me wonder why she's chasing after a guy who will never do anything but to make her life all miserable and colorless, when I'm here, ready to make her smile once again. I wonder why she's choosing Gray Williams when I am here to make her feel that she's actually loved.

Augh! This all sucks.

      I stood up from my seat and left the clinic. These thoughts have been boggling me and I need to get them off of my head. They are stressing me out so much. My feet brought me somewhere, at the place where I always find peace, where I always get the tranquility I want. Right now, I am in a desperate need for peace of mind. Everything's so mixed up, and I need to sort everything, what I should do. I need, I really need to get the answers to my endless questions already. I really need to know and determine whether I should continue this foolishness I've been doing for how many months already. I really need to know if Claire's still worth it, or not anymore, if I should still keep on running after her, if I should still continue loving her, even if everything hurts.

Yeah. Everything hurts. Better stop. The stupid little voice told me.

      Claire has done many things that made me feel so worthless. Everytime I'll try to show her my efforts, she would immediately throw it away at the very moment. And then, I would feel like a trash, because she makes me feel like one. She makes me feel like I'm actually insignificant in this whole freaking world. Like I'm not important and that I should've not existed.

So just stop, Trent. You've done enough for her.

      The moon has finally shone across the dark skies, as I gazed upon it, scrutinizing its features. It looks beautiful, despite its imperfections. Claire is the same. She may not be perfect, but she is beautiful, internally and externally. And that's the reason why I actually fell for her.

Enough, Trent. Stop with those stupid thoughts.

     And all of a sudden, I felt a presence emanating from someone, which means I'm not alone. As my eyes gave the bright night skies of Mineral Town a last glance, I sighed. Giving the person a sideway gaze, it kind of surprised me to see that it was Claire Adams standing beside me.

"Hey."

C L A I R E

"Hey," I quietly greeted the Doctor, whom I found standing along the seashore.

      The waves rolled and the soft breeze from the sea gushed across our faces, but he remained silent. His silence gave me the chance to think about the recent happenings between me and Gray, and how I decided to stop all the things, and end all the craziness I chose to do to save our friendship. Remembering that it was me who chose to stop it all, my heart felt like it was loaded with tons of things I want to say to him, but I already can't. Am I dumb to give up? Is it too early to let it go? Am I right about choosing to stop? These questions occupied my mind as I stared at the how the seas looked calm and how the moon looks beautiful from afar.

"How's you and Gray?" he had finally broke the silence, also breaking my chain of thoughts.

"There's no us," I chuckled sarcastically, as his confused frown did not go unnoticed. "But we're fine. We aren't talking, though."

"Shouldn't you be sad, then? Gray has been like, your whole life. Why aren't you reacting the way you should react?" he had asked, eyes blank, voice monotonic.

My smile widened more at the sudden question. "There's no reason for me to. We're done, and he's happy with it, so should I."

      And there was silence after that. He ran a palm on his black locks of hair and looked upon the skies. He messed it up and let out a sigh. I can feel the distress and anxiety he feels right now, as well as the pain lingering in his eyes. And yeah, it actually made me feel guilty about the things I did to push him away. I've kind of been unfair to him— no, erase that, I have been really unfair to him. I always make him stay away from me, and neglects everything he does for me.

I've been like Gray to him.

At the sudden spark of thought, I heard him speak. "So I guess I should be setting you as an example, huh?"

"What?"

"You said that he's happy, so you should be, right?" he gave me a smile. "Well then, I guess I should be happy now, too, because you're happy."

     Trent smiled a bit more, making my heart ache a little. Hating what's happening, I neared his figure and looked straight into him.

"You're really sincere about making me your friend again, aren't you?" I asked.

"More than a friend, actually. But that isn't possible," a smile, a slightly bitter smile sewed its way on his lips. "Well, don't mind me. I'm just a bitter--"

       Cutting his words off, I muttered something that surely got him shocked.

"Well then, we'll make it happen."

-
I personally feel that this story is kind of getting boring with all these long paragraphs that aren't that much relevant to the plot. But thank you to those who still reads this and votes. The story is almost at its end and I think it'll undergo some editing...

Love you all!❤ Keep a smile on your faces...😊

-sasakiarisu
03.11.18