seasonal change || graire ✔️

Chapter 21

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G R A Y

"Gray..." a certain strawberry blonde greeted me, sitting beside me. 

     Ann had just came here at the springs. She took the rock beside mine, wearing a smile that doesn't have the vibrance it used to have. Her smile had something that isn't supposed to be there. Diverting my eyes away from her, I stared at the waters, asking her what she's doing here. 

"What are you doing here?" I queried, staring back at her. "Aren't you supposed to be in the Inn, helping your father?"

"There aren't so much customers, so Dad let me go here to unwind. How about you?" she said, returning back a question to me.

"Same reasons."

"Is that really it?" she suddenly questioned, as I threw a glare at her.

"You're trying to say something, aren't you?"

"Gray, I know how you feel," she placed a hand on my shoulder. "I know that until now, you're still feeling the pain you felt after Claire had left. But don't you think that it's the perfect time for you to forgive her? She's finally back, and I'm sure that you can start all over again with her."

"I want to, Ann. You know that. But it's not as easy as you think," I let out a long sigh. "I've been trying to, for how many years, but it's too hard. What she did was too painful, that until now, the scars wouldn't heal."

"Because you don't want to accept her again. "

She glanced at me, her eyes serious. "You keep on closing the doors for her when in fact you still want her. You're just afraid to be hurt once again. But remember that when you love someone, pain will always be there. It's what makes your relationship stronger. It's inevitable."

"Enough, Ann. I don't love her or anything."

"Keep on denying it, Gray, just keep on denying it. Truth will come out soon and you'll just find yourself revealed to her." then she left.

     I stared at my reflection, removing my cap and messing my hair. A sigh then escaped my lips. Am I really scared to be hurt again? Am I really afraid to feel pain again? Am I really closing the doors for Claire? Yes, I am afraid. Afraid that somehow, if I accept her again in my life, she'll just leave me. I am afraid that I'll experience the same pain again. These scars I have because of her are still aching. And I have no idea when it will completely heal.

     I stood up and started to walk away. Confusion was all over my mind right now. I was doubting the way I act to her. Does it show that I am already over her, or it's just making me look like I'm still wanting her? Yeah, until now, I still want Claire in my life. I still want her to be a part of me. It's just that, fear was overwhelming me, and the pain is still remaining in my heart.

     Soon, it was 5:00 PM. I found myself walking to the Mineral Beach, finding answers to the questions I have in my mind right now. Why did Claire come back? Why is she messing with my life once again? And why am I still affected? Do I still love her? Do I really love her until now? I've been trying to push her away, but I still want her by my side. I've been wanting to trust her again, but I've been too afraid to give it to her. My actions are very contradictory to what I actually wanted. Yes, it's true that I want to forgive her, but until now, I still feel anger for her. And it makes me so disconcerted.

     The sun was setting, leaving the skies painted in vibrant shades of orange and red. The seas were calmed down, and only the rushing of waves  to the shore can be heard. I sat on the sand, staring at the scenery before me. Everything seemed tranquil; they seemed too carefree. Unlike me. There was a disturbance inside of me, and I have no idea how should I calm this down. It's making me so frustrated, because I cannot find a way to solve this thing.

     The stars were already shining when I came back to the Inn. Duke and Basil were there, having their toast, and my grandpa was just staring at me intensely as I made my way to the staircase. Ann glanced at me, eyes having that gloom that shouldn't be there, as I went upstairs. I saw Cliff, who wore a shy smile as I entered the room we shared together. I ignored it and laid on my bed, covering myself with a blanket after I had removed my jacket. I kept on thinking about earlier. It kept on boggling me until now. As I slowly fell into sleep, a question was left inside of my mind.

When will I be able to forgive you, Claire Adams?

A N N

     After Gray had went upstairs, I continued my work. Wiping the counter, I started to ruminate about our talk earlier. The blond-haired guy is having a hard time moving on. The forgiveness that Claire has been wanting to receive from him, the guy cannot give it easily because of his fear and his trust issues. I can understand how he feels, though. It's just too difficult to trust someone who can hurt you once again.

     I asked Dad if I could take my rest after I finished my duty.  He let me, and so I head off to my room and changed into my pajamas. Lying down on my bed, I stared upon the ceiling as I wondered about the things currently happening to us right now. Claire Adams had just came back from the city to revive the old farm she left once, or was that really it? I'm sure she came back because she has something to patch up. And she has something to chase after, because I believe that during her stay in the city, she has realized something very important.

That she has something for Gray Williams.

     Yes. Claire Adams has gotten a liking for that stubborn guy even before she left. The time she learned she was hurting the boy, she did not go back to the same way she used to be that time. Dr. Trent had tried his best to comfort her, but he wasn't able to. Because before he could even completely ease the pain the blonde has been feeling that time, he caused her more, which led to the girl leaving this very town. And now that she's back, I'm sure that she'll be doing everything to get Gray's trust back, and to fix the mistakes she's done in the past.

     I sprawled out my arms, and let out a sigh. Yeah, Claire Adams has finally came back. And as the season changes, I'm sure that she'll discover the things that her decision caused. And she'll discover the pain she caused to someone who loved her so much.

     I was about to close the lights when someone had knocked on my door, telling me the Gray's grandfather has been asking for me. I came there, and we talked, but then I noticed a certain someone that I knew drinking. After the talk with Saibara the blacksmith, I approached the counter and sat on one of the stools.

"Kinda rare to see you drinking. What's up?"