Finish Line

8

Dylan's footsteps were getting closer as we approached the house. I knew that I would have to tell him. I knew that I would have to tell everyone at one point. I also knew that the time wasn't now. I knew that now was a time for everyone to be happy. For Cole and Elena to continue on their journey together. For mom and Austin to start their journey together. Hell, I barely know Dylan. Allison has enough going on with her own life, family and such. Why should I disrupt everyone else's life? To whine and complain about something I should've handled a year ago? 

So now I have to lie once again or tell the truth and face the result. I shouldn't keep lying. If I keep lying no one will believe me. If I keep covering up what happened it will come back to haunt me. I've always told myself to move on and I have. I have moved on. I refused to let somebody else's actions determine my happiness. So as I have always said, I am fine. I am perfectly okay. I have everything. I have a college education, a career, a volleyball scholarship, and wonderful friends and family. 

"Raimy, what the hell was that?" Dylan finally asks, catching my arm and stopping me along the sidewalk. I shake my head. I decide not to lie or tell the truth. I decide to avoid it. I decide to avoid what happened. Just as I have all along. 

"Dylan, it doesn't matter. It's just a hard breakup from a dumb high school relationship," I didn't totally lie. The breakup was hard. But the relationship was harder. 

Dylan keeps a firm grip on my wrist, slightly scaring me, "You think I'm an idiot, Munro?" He snaps at me, "you think I didn't see the way you spoke to him, the way you were almost in tears simply talking to him? Tell me the truth." 

"No Dylan. I can't tell you the truth. All you have done is treat me like crap since I've been in Seattle. You don't care about anyone other than yourself. So why should I pour my heart out to you and tell you the most important secret of my life when all you've done is treat me like trash? I shouldn't," I yell at him. I don't mean to yell, I'm just frustrated. I'm frustrated with everything. I don't know what's right and wrong at this point and I feel like I need to do what's best for me. 

I want to break down. I want to just lose it and pour my soul out to him. I know that I can't. I have to keep it together. Not for anyone but myself. If I suddenly just lose it, I won't be able to go back. So I keep it together. I stand my ground and I keep my head held high. I'm not going to freak out over something that happened over a year ago. It's in the past. So who cares? I sure as hell don't. 

"Whatever Jules, you're life and all. Don't come crying to me when shit gets rough," He angrily rolls his eyes before slipping into the driver seat of the mustang and speeding off. I roll my eyes as well before slipping into the house. I look out the floor to ceiling window that overlooks the beach. I love it here so much.

I watch as my mother dances her heart out with her fiancé. They're so happy together. Same with Cole and Elena. Emma is chatting some guy up near the water. Jake is on the phone, I assume with Sophia. Sammy is laughing with some boys throwing sand at each other. I laugh slightly at this. Boys. 

Boys can be so confusing yet so simple at the same time. I'm really just thinking about Dylan. I fought with Dylan. For no reason. He was trying to be nice and I lashed out at him. I was out of line. I should've been more respectful. I'm only now realizing that this would've been the perfect opportunity for me to become closer with Dylan rather than he and I just muttering to each other as we pass each other in the hallway. So basically, I ruined my shot at a good relationship with Dylan. 

My mom enters the house with a smile on her face. She's alone and she has clearly come to talk to me. She joins me at the window. Looking down at the people below. They are all celebrating her. They're all laughing and smiling in her honor.