Over Atlantic

I need it... I need it now

SEAN'S POV

I tried to avoid it knowing what they where going to say i knew i still had it. i just had a feeling

Gabe= hey Sean you okay

Sean= the doctors rang me back 2 times

Gabe= what did they say Sean

Gabe= we can help you this time

Sean= I didnt answer they rand Liam they got the results back but I can't

Gabe= Sean please go

Sean= i know what they are going to say im still deppresed nothings changed nothing at all

Gabe= alot of things have changed Sean. Now we all know

Sean= He had ago at me Gabe i hate it i hate being like this i hate making you all sad

charlie= we are sad becasue we know whats going on and all we wanna do is help you get 100% again

Sean= i hate that i gave Trevor nightmares i hate that you all had to lie to me just because you thought i was going to go down hill again

Charlie= all we want is for you to get better and for us to be okay. go Sean go and get the results and when you come back we are here and we will help we promise

Sean= thank you boys im off then

Gabe= call us if you need us okay

Sean= i will bye

I walked out of the door on the way to the doctors i hated this feeling

Sean= hi im Sean im here for my results

Doctor= oh yes here you go you dont need to see someone for this here they are bye bye now

wow so i walked for fuck all i had a envolope in my hand but i didnt want to open it but i had too. I ripped it open to read

Dear Sir

we are aware that you have been ill, From the answers you told us we can still confirm that your deppresion has got worse i would recommended you get some help you need it.

Thank you

Sean= how has it got worse im fine

Sean= stop lieing to yourself your not okay

I walked home with my headphones in my head down i just new it was still there but i have this feeling. the feel of a blade against my skin. I put the back of my head and headed home

( SEAN IS NOW HOME)

Gabe= Sean is that you?

Sean= ( i feel onto the floor put my head in my hands i was done i just could not do this again to me or to the rest of the boys)

Sean= Gabe..

Gabe= Sean why are you on the floor

Sean= I cant do this again.

Gabe= Come one we can get through anyhting remember

Sean= I hate it. I hate whats happening i just wanna be normal

Gabe= you are normal okay you just have a few things that are wrong thats all we will sort this

Sean= How Gabe how the hell do i cope with this again and again

Gabe= because you have me and the boys okay we ill get you through this but we need to tell them now so we can help you

Sean= you get them down and ill say it.

GABE'S POV

I wish this would go away. dont you think hes been through enough. I hate this

Gabe= Boys get down here

5 mins later all the boys come down and sat in the front room

Charlie= Sean what did they say?

Sean- I still have it but its got worser

Trevor- How has it you got better didnt you you where happy

Sean= things just never go away

Liam= why did you even come back

Gabe= Liam thats out of order

Sean= let him talk i can take it its fine

Liam= why did you? when you knew you where not ready to come back. you knew didnt you

Sean= ive always known i came back beacuse i needed it

Sean= i came back becasue all anyone ever talked about was me thats all they wanted me to come back and ive let you and the fans down

Liam= dont you get it Sean you need to come first in this

Sean= ive put myself first look where that has got me

Liam= dont you think ( he clenched his fist)

Charlie= Liam calm down he told us didnt he

Liam= its gone to far. its tim either he goes or i go

Gabe= what the hell Liam

Trevor= we are supposed to be heloing him nto kicking you or him out of the band

Liam= look what he is doing hes ill. He's making us fight

Gabe= your making us fight Liam

Liam= me !!!!!!!!!!!!! ( then he hit Sean)

Charlie= WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU

Liam= did you see him he didnt scream he dosent feel it because hes so into himslef that evrynight nigth he cuts and he need the pain

Sean= STOPPP Okay

Sean= i derved that punch but..

The he fainted