CACOPHONY | ✅

~02~

But time changes everything, or I wouldn't have spent the last six hours running away from sleep, my only escape.

Afraid, that this time the darkness might be too much to bear, or the nightmares might resurface.

Afraid, that this time I'd be so lonely that even the nothingness won't be there for me when reality comes to ruthlessly haunt me, with its claws extended and fangs bared.

Or maybe it was sleep itself that's running away from me.

Maybe it fears the maddening screams echoing in my head, or the bitter cold freezing my heart or the gloomy shadows of misery I host now.

Just like I fear them.

But right now, I don't know what the reason is. And I don't care either. All I know is that I couldn't bring myself to sleep last night.

I had to see you today. One last time.

Just once.

So I lay in my bed the whole night. My eyes wide open, fixed at the ceiling I couldn't see in the dark, while I repeatedly played last night's events in my head. Until sunlight streamed in through the windows and my alarm went off, and for the first time in three hundred and fiftyone days, I have started my day with the sounds of something other than my own sobs, feeling absolutely nothing.

Not even pain.