CACOPHONY | ✅

~01~

When its not the past that haunts you or the future that you're afraid of, but the present you're trying to escape because it makes you suffer every minute of every passing day, you sleep.

When you're too lonely to share the pain, or too afraid to slice a vein, or too hopeful for miracles to happen, or too strong to wait for the good things life has to offer, you sleep.

You sleep, because nobody cares. And death doesn't come easily. And miracles don't happen. And good things don't always come to those who wait.

So you cry your eyes out until your body wears out and your mind slowly drifts into nothingness.

And even though, every following morning, you wake up on tear soaked pillows at the sounds of your own sobs and hiccups and in excruciating pain, your eyes sore while you choke on your own tears, you look forward to sleeping again.

Because nothing comforts you as much as the nothingness does.

Sleep becomes your exit.

An escape from the unbearable reality. A refuge from the chasing insanity.

And even though ugly nightmares and horrid dreams dance behind your eyelids, you embrace the paralyzing slumber with open arms because reality is more frightening. You seek it because the luminous lights of life get scarier than the murky shadows of temporary death that you let yourself be swallowed into.

Nihility becomes your universe, and the oblivion becomes a safe haven.