CACOPHONY | ✅

~09~

Death.

The word escapes the grim hallways of my subconcience and echoes through my head, like a deafening scream.

I gasp as realization sets in for the first time since last night.

I feel the thick blanket of numbness, slowly burning away from my body.

And I wince when a deadly pain spreads through my body, melting the ice that had frozen me, an eternity ago.

My lips tremble and my eyes pool again as I tell you the words that have been buried inside me since forever.

Words I was going to say to you last night just before they dragged you away from me.

"I love you." I whisper.

"I love you...I love you so much."

Like a mantra, I chant these words over and over again.

And no matter how many times I do it now, it doesn't seem enough.

Because, maybe it's too late.

Maybe I messed up again.

Maybe I should have told you before.

Before they held me back and took your stretcher away.

Before they ripped off your shirt and attached all those beeping machines to you, sticking countless needles into your veins.

Before you started thrashing and the doctors and nurses started panicking.

Before your eyes scanned the room around us for the last time and your eyes met mine for the briefest of moments.

Before I could see the depth of your love and affection for me in your eyes.

Before you desperately gasped for air for the last time.

Before the cardiograph started beeping.

Before I lost everything I had ever come to love.

Before my whole world crumbled around me.

Before this numbness engulfed me.

Oh, I wish I'd told you before.

I wish I'd told you before, because now its not the few apparent inches of conquerable air that seperate us.

But totally different dimensions that host us. Two different realms putting a distance so great between us, that only the mighty death can help us cover.