After that day, hindi na kami nag-usap ni Rye. We would pass by each other, but we'd never talk. Siguro mas okay na 'to. Siguro mas okay ng mag-panggap na walang puso at walang pake sa mundo. At least, 'pag ganun, hindi ka na masasaktan.
Kasalukuyan akong kumukuha ng waiver sa officers regarding the club I'm joining. After nun, dumeretso na rin ako sa locker ko para iwan ang mga text books kong kakailanganin ko para mamaya. Pag-bukas ko ng locker ko, may nahulog na letter. Pinulot ko ito't binuksan.
Liah, It's me Rye.
Hindi ko pa natatapos yung letter, kinusot ko na ito't tinapon.
Matigas na kung matigas, you can't blame me. You can't just tear my heart apart, say sorry, and expect everything will all be alright. That isn't how life works.
1st period isn't until 10:30 kaya meron pa akong 1 hour to do whatever I want. I started my car engine and thought, "San kaya ako pupunta?"
I ended up driving to the nearest cafe. Nag-order ako ng Café Americano at umupo na sa seat ko. Comfy.
Binaba ko ang drink ko at binuklat ko ang binabasang kong libro. The Abundance of Katherines. Sinuot ko ang earphones ko't nagpa-tugtog.
I gave all my oxygen to people that could breathe
I gave away my money and now we don't even speak
I drove miles and miles, but would you do the same for me?
Oh, honestly?
Offered off my shoulder just for you to cry upon
Gave you constant shelter and a bed to keep you warm
They gave me the heartache and in return I gave a song
Its goes on and on
Life can get you down so I just numb the way it feels
I drown it with a drink and out-of-date prescription pills
And all the ones that love me they just left me on the shelf
No farewell
So before I save someone else, I've got to save myself
I gave you all my energy and I took away your pain
'Cause human beings are destined to radiate or dream
What line do we stand upon 'cause from here looks the same?
And only scars remain
Life can get you down so I just numb the way it feels
I drown it with a drink and out-of-date prescription pills
And all the ones that love me they just left me on the shelf
No farewell
So before I save someone else, I've got to save myself
But if don't
Then I'll go back
To where I'm rescuing a stranger
Just because they needed saving just like that
Oh, I'm here again
Between the devil and the danger
But I guess it's just my nature
My dad was wrong
'Cause I'm not like my mum
'Cause she'd just smile and I'm complaining in a song
But it helps
So before I save someone else
I've got to save myself
Life can get you down so I just numb the way it feels
I drown it with a drink and out-of-date prescription pills
And all the ones that love me they just left me on the shelf
No farewell
So before I save someone else, I've got to save myself
And before I blame someone else, I've got to save myself
And before I love someone else, I've got to love myself
This feels nice. At least kahit paano, nakakapag-relax ako.
After a while, nakaramdam ako ng tapik sa balikat ko.
"Hi." Si kuya Lundren.
"Kuya. Anong ginagawa mo dito?" ani ko sabay yakap sakanya.
"I needed a drink." Sagot niya sabay tawa. "Eh ikaw ba?"
"My class isn't until 10:30, I still have roughly 40 minutes."
"Oh, that's fine. By the way, since you're already here, I need to tell you something."
"Am I in trouble?" tanong ko. Ano naman kayang nagawa ko.
"Haha, no you're not, silly. Aalis ang dad mo at si mama 1 month from now for 2 weeks and they wanted me to give you a heads up."
"Oh no. So I'm stuck with you for 2 weeks?" asar ko, "Ba't parang ang aga naman ata ng heads up mo?"
"Just so you're prepared. Sabi mo nga, you're dealing with me for 2 weeks." Seryoso niyang pag-sabi, "Wala si mama kaya walang magluluto. Mag-practice ka na." biro niya sabay tapik sa ulo ko.
"Kuya naman." Sabi ko.
"I'm just kidding. Anyway, I gotta go. I need to settle some errands." Pagpapaalam niya.
"Okay, kuya. Ingat." I say as I read my book one more time.
After my soul got lost in the book, naramdaman kong may tumabi sakin. Hindi ko pinansin kasi masyado akong pre-occupied sa binabasa ko.
"Liah," he says. Rye. Sinara ko ang librong binabasa ko at tumayo.
"I can't even rest for a minute without you popping back into my life," bulong ko, pero hindi niya 'ko narinig.
"Wait lang, alam ko ayaw mo akong kausapin, that's fine with me. Pero please, pakinggan mo naman ako."
"Then what?" tanong ko. "Magtitiwala ako ulit, tapos sasaktan mo 'ko ulit? Sawa na ko, Rye. I have a lot more problems to worry about, I don't need another one."
"But you don't understand." He pleads.
"Maybe I do, maybe I don't. But none of that matters anymore. I need to go."
I looked him in the eyes one last time and exited the café.
YOU ARE READING
Chasing Rainbows
Teen FictionAlliah Lynelle Kai is a college student trying to find the colors at the end of a dark path called life. On her way, she meets certain people who would either act as a blessing, or a curse. Will she ever find the colors she's been searching for?
