Levi X Reader | One-Shots & Mini-Series | Heavy Editing

What We Could've Been

*Play music*

Despair and regret clawed at his chest.

Thoughts plagued his mind.

And scars littered his body.

Papers and shards of glass were scattered across the usually spotless floors. Maps and important documents were barely hanging from their pins on the noticeboard in his office. They all seemed to lead to a certain figure, curled up in the corner of the room. He was barely keeping himself together. Tears trickled down his cheeks, off his chin and nose and landed on his uniform. His eyes were screwed shut and his entire being was trembling. He had one hand propped against the wall while the other was clamped shut at his back, as if he was protecting his midsection.

It would be a shock for anyone to see their usually stoic and expressionless lance corporal in such a state.

But at the same time, it almost wouldn't as well.

She was gone. And he didn't even get to say sorry.

The 57th Expedition would definitely be remembered for all the wrong reasons. His entire squad was gone. It was only himself and Eren now.

It had been bubbling for a long time now. The agitation towards each other. It happened to the best of couples; and yourself and Levi were no different. Every couple fought. But Levi just regretted the fact that your last memory of the two of you together was a raging and brutal argument.

Levi recalled the worst part of the expedition. Not when his squad died. Not when he broke his ankle. When he saw you.

* * *

The green was deathly quiet. No one dared to speak as every mourned for the loss of their comrades.

Although he didn't show it, Levi was panicking in the inside. You still hadn't come back. According to the two members of your squad that were still breathing, they claimed that you got separated from the formation shortly after the black flare had caused an uproar. They hadn't seen you since then.

Levi still wanted to hope, even if it was dwindling very rapidly. There were still squad looking for bodies and injured. He hoped you were in the latter.

But in the following few minutes, all hopes had been wiped out.

Two soldiers appeared out the forest. One carrying a body. Levi didn't need to look twice to know it was her. He rushed towards the two cadets and looked at his girl. If the somber looks the cadets help wasn't enough, the large laceration across the neck of the girls he loved was proof enough.

You were gone.

He took your body from the cadets and dismissed them immediately and waited until they were gone long enough.

Every instinct in his body screamed at him to cry and shout at you to wake up. But he couldn't do it. All he could do was let his knees buckle as he stared at the lifeless body draped in his arms.

His head was bowed as he hair shadowed his eyes. He wished that this never happened. That you were among the very small amount of living people. But not everyone gets what they wish for.

Levi laid your body down on the grass, and began to remove the patch on your uniform. Like he did with every soldier of his. But the only thing was; you were not like every other soldier. You were his partner. His soulmate.

His light.

* * *

But now darkness dwells. It injected itself into his soul a long time ago. But now, it was overdosed. The blackness made him dizzy. It made him feel like he was dying inside. Like he losing every emotion within him that wasn't pain.

If he didn't care so much about defeating the titans, he would've ended it the moment he lost you.

So in the time it will take to get rid of them; he knows that every waking moment will be spent thinking about what he could've been with you if he had just been there to save you. To apologise for the argument between you two.

It made him nauseous to think that your final memory of him was of you two arguing.

* * *

"Are you being fucking serious?!" Levi screamed at you in raw anger.

"What do you mean 'are you being serious?' Yes! I am! I'm fucking sick of you getting pissed off with me so much! I tried to have a civil conversation with you about this but look where we are now! You got fucked off with me for practically no reason! So if there's some underlying reason for this then speak now!"

"How could I not get fucked off?! I'm here trying to set up a highly dangerous expedition, look after a pubescent titan shifter and train a squad for said expedition all at the one time while you're there bitching at me all the time when I have enough to be dealing with!" He countered, his tone unforgiving.

"Oh for fuck sake, we're all fucking busy and stressed! Shut the fuck up and deal with it like we all are! I'm sorry if you thought me worrying about you was bitching!" You screamed, tears falling from your eyes, "I've fucking tried to get you to talk about what's stressing you so stop trying to take all this shit out on me like I've not given a fuck about how you are over the past few weeks!"

With that you stormed out of the room with tears streaming down your cheeks and your jaw clenched.

* * *

But now shadows stretch over your grave among the many other soldiers' graves.

Silence will be the thing greeting him when he steps inside his quarters once again.

Loneliness will start eating away at his heart again.

Inky blackness will consume the soul within his being.

And maybe Levi wouldn't feel so alone if he had just gotten to say I'm sorry to you because, in truth, that day just happened to be a bad day for him and you bared the brunt of it. He knew that you were being patient with him and when he lost his temper at you — it made fury boil within you. But if there was one thing he was proud of, it was that you held your own against him.

With an empty, watery smile, Levi whispered into the air of his lone office with a violent sob.

"I miss you."
________________

Did that suck ass?

Yes :')

Well Season 2 came out today! Took the eejits long enough :') ahaha I'm so happy that it did, it's gonna be cool to see it all animated... especially for those who ship Eren and Mikasa 😏 Chapter 50 ;)

Anyways,

I guess I'm back? It's been awhile I guess. I have three months until my exams so I'll be a lot more active after then (: