can we be complete again ( sequel to can we learn to love again)

ch18

ch18

I wake up to a knock on the shop do i crawl out of bed still in last night's dress i walk to the door and see jack there with a bunch of flowers. It's a slightly sunny day early spring so the air is warm but the wind has a bit of chill to it. I open the door surprised to see him here so early.

"Good morning jack" i reply happily i let him in i glance in the hall to see if tobys up but i don't hear anything.

"Good morning nellie i was wondering if you would want to go out for berkfest with me" he asks fidgeting a bit with his hands i smile sweetly and wipe my hands on my dress.

"That's very kind of you let me just change would you like a cup of tea while you wait" i ask he nods and i give him some tea and go into my room to change. I can't help wondering if this is a date or if he has more questions for me. Or if he's just getting close to me to get answers. I strip off my flower covered dress and look through my closet for something remotely presentable to wear i decide on a green long sleeve dress with gold embroidery. I then try to fix my tangled mess of hair and i walk out of my room i then walk to toby's room and peek in he's still fast asleep so i right him a note.

"All set then" jack asks standing up i nod and take his empty cup placing it in the sink. For a moment i debate on telling sweeney wear i'm going just so he doesn't worry but then i decide not to. Toby will tell him i went out if he comes looking for me. He offers me his arm and i take it. Such a gentleman.

"Did you have some more questions for me" i ask as we walk down the streets its surprisingly crowded for this early in the morning we make are way till we come to a little shop with bright colored flowers in the windows. How they manage to keep any plant alive in this weather is bond me there never seems to be enough sunlight for the plants to grow. We go in and take a seat wear a young girl comes and places some menus in front of us.

"No i just fancied some company" he replied casually and i blush a little. Why am i blushing he's just a man no different from any other man. But he is hes kinder than most men. At least most men i know. We order some food. I order fresh fruit and some bread with honey and he gets the same.

"I was wondering... if it's not too bold to ask is... is your neighbor the father of your baby" he says hesedntly i lookdown at the neck pen in my hand. I think about lying to him telling him it's my deceased husbands but i decide agents it that lie could unravel to quickly.

"You have to understand my relationship with Mr Todd isn't what you'd call normal" i say looking back up at him. I search his eyes for some type of judgment but i don't see anything except understanding.he waits for me to go on.

"It isnt what youd call really, but yes he's the father" i say trailing off into a whisper. I feel slightly ashamed of my situation. A women my age unmarried and pregnant he must think i'm a fool.

" well if you don't mind i would like to get to know you more nellie" he says sweetly grabbing my hands.

"I'd like that" i say and it's true i don't know if i'm feeling anything for him and i sure as hell don't know what i fell for sweeney and i don't know if i want to feel anything for him. I would never betray him and give away his secret but he never payed me any attention before and now all of a sudden he wants to gain my affection after hurting me so many time. I decide if i have the chance to be happy i'll take it. We finish eating and he walks me home in comfortable silence. As we walk into the shop i see sweeney passing back and forth in the shop i walk in and he stops and and turns to me .

"There you are pet i was wondering is.... " he stops suddenly seeing jack standing there behind me i see his jaw clench.

"Hello officer" he says in his fake polite voice it sounds so convincing but i can always tell the difference. I start to get a little nervous having the two of them in the same room. Im afraid of what sweeney might do.

"Hello Mr Todd, have a nice day nellie i'll see you tomorrow" he say he lingers for a moment as if he wants to kiss me but he decided against it and leaves sweeney's whole demeanor changes once he is gone.

"What the hell did he want is that wear you went off to this morning with him" he accuses looking away from my i suddenly feel very irritated with him.

"And what if it was" i spit back at him who is he to dictate who i can and can not see its not like he's my husband or parent hell he's not even my lover anymore he has no right.

"He could be dangerous all man have but one thought" he starts stepping closer to me not knowing what takes over me i slap him hard across the face the sharp sound lingers in the air for a moment.

"Not all men are dangerous and bad and cruel as you say they are, he's a nice man a gentleman. A right side kinder to me then you've ever been " i yell it's still early in the morning and by the looks of it toby isn't up yet sweeney looks at me a bit taken aback by my outburst. I place my hands on my hips stubbornly.

"And i have apologised for it a million times" he says exasperation clear in his voice making me roll my eyes i walk behind the counter taking out a pot to make some soup for later. I slam it down rather hard on the counter.

"And that should make everything ok is that it i'm supposed to forgive and forget" i yell moving my untamable hair out of my face.my blood boiling now.

"No but it should at least give me a chance to make it up to so you can try to forgive and forget" he replays a bit calmer now i still see a spark of madness in his dark eyes. A laugh sarcastically for a moment and he looks at me slightly confused.

"Did you hear yourself just then, forgive and forget. You hypocrite you're the one who was so blinded by the past you didn't even see me there. You think i like helping you watching all those innocent people" i stop lowering my voice at the last part i don't think toby is awake yet but i wouldn't want him to over here.

"Then why did you help i never asked you" he says and i know he knows the answer but he just wants to hear me say it.

"I never asked for this sweeney i did it because i love you" i whisper meeting his eyes that are softer now.

"Then stop pushing me away" he say taking my hand in his i pull away and walk to the door i lean against the doorframe for support. I want to cry but i can't, it seems i have spent all my tears. Without another word i leave the shop letting the door slam behind me and i walk down the street.