METANOIA

MEXIMANIA

Meximania is a place with a huge identity crisis. It could be considered a vegan and vegetarian-friendly, hipster, sports bar that appeals to dumb college students and/or urban designers and artists. Its specialties were Mexican food, vegan dishes and chicken wings.

Okay, I guess I should clarify. Here is the recipe.

Think of a typical American sports bar with large plasma screens that play either baseball or football. Add Mexican food to the menu. Now, instead of wall paint, cover the entire interior with murals of urban people with animal heads. Sprinkle it with a handful of creepy tribal objects like masks and statues. Stir the murals until they mimic a Picasso-style cubist feel. Add some really inconsistent music and a wide range of cocktails that you don't usually see in a sports bar. On a separate pamphlet, announce the house chicken wings with over ten different signature sauces. Now, place the restaurant on the very edge of the campus. If that isn't enough, add some vegan and vegetarian-friendly food to the menu, and you have a general feeling of the Meximania experience.

Also, the food was heavenly...

Silas, Misha, Sarah and Taylor all ordered martinis and wings. Silas, wanting to get in touch with the tree hugger he once was, also ordered some tofu and grass, or at least something that looked like it.

It seemed like whenever a mixed group of single men and women under a certain age gather together and have a conversation, they ultimately reached one topic, much like that dirty business between all roads and Rome.

That topic is sex. There is a natural evolution of it all; it goes like this:

Some inane subject, such as the weather, will hastily give birth to a specific anecdote that pertains, in some way, to an interaction between men and women. This lame anecdote will then give birth to a number of others, which then turns into a conversation about relationships and/or ex-partners. Now, while this conversation persists, someone at some point eventually is going to take the leap and tell an anecdote about fellatio or cunnilingus and, if the group is slightly more evolved, about sodomy or intercourse, some aspect of pollination in humans.

At that moment, our friends had already gone through the lame initiation conversations and had reached the part where they are talking about relationships. It now needed some brave soul to open up the floodgates.

Sarah said, "So, you have never cheated on anyone?"

Misha said, "Nope, never."

Silas said matter-of-factly, "I don't think I've dated anyone for longer than a few months. So I never felt the need to."

Misha said, "The last few relationships I've been in didn't last very long either. Just broke up with my last girlfriend after only two months."

Taylor asked, "So why did you guys break up?"

Sarah tried to be that hero, "The sex wasn't good?"

Misha could think of a gazillion reasons why, but then just said, "Just not right for each other, I guess."

Taylor asked, "So are you seeing anyone these days, Misha?"

Sarah was attentive instantly, and she gave up on directing the conversation to their broody bits.

Misha said, "Ha-ha, no, I mean, I do meet girls occasionally but nothing too substantial these days."

Misha and Silas stared at each other with the ghost of Samia lingering between them. Sarah exhaled, somewhat visibly.

Misha couldn't help but smile at the whole Samia business, but his face switched to concern as he said, "But it would help if I got married now. I totally just lost my passport," he laughed uneasily.