METANOIA

TAXI

The three men took about an hour to prepare, and then all of them were in a taxi heading to the airport. Misha turned back toward them from the passenger seat. He was still ranting about Samia, but now it was mostly for the guys' amusement. Their hangovers were held at bay by the food, and nostalgia prevailed once again.

Misha said mostly to himself, "Last night cannot set the precedent for the rest of this trip, man; we don't talk about this ever again..." He stopped for a second... "No wait, I'm going to call her a slut one last time... Slut! Then we never talk about it again..."

The other two were still laughing at him.

Pete said, "I think, though, later down the line, we are going to remember last night and laugh at it, just 'cause it makes for an entertaining story."

Silas said, "I have to agree with Pete on that one."

Misha laughed, "Of course you would, you prick! You got laid!"

Silas answered, "Sir if you could have the experience erased from my memory and implanted in yours, I swear you wouldn't want it."

His features clenched and his face became more serious and thoughtful, which was immediately apparent to his friends. Silas continued,

"Last night, post coitus..." Misha rolled his eyes, but mostly because he said post coitus. "Something occurred to me. I think I am sorta tired of this crap. This whole fucking around, you know? It is starting to really get to me...I honestly am sick of it. It is always the same fucking, screwed up routine. Mark the girl, get the girl, fuck, fuck, fuck, and we both walk away, and if I'm lucky, I don't have to call them back." He had turned to Pete as if looking for some secret he might bestow upon him.

Pete said, "Don't look at me, man! I'm engaged, and I'm still not getting much. I can't really say the whole long term relationship thing is all that dandy either."

Still mischievous, Misha winked at Pete, "You should thank God you aren't married."

The cab snaked its way around the city before taking them to the airport. There was silence for a bit as they looked at the urban portrait of the streets of New York. Silas was inspired to continue after seeing a couple holding the hands of a kid who could barely walk.

"The past three years, I have been trying to fit puzzle pieces through keyholes. I am not sure if it is the bio clock crap, but I am tired of coalescing with people I wouldn't want to spend an entire day with."

Misha replied, "Silas that made no sense. Coalescing? Who fucking says that? What does that even mean?"

Silas became distracted and switched immediately to the omnipotent professor within him, "It's a term used mostly for chemical..."

Misha rolled his eyes and said, "I'm already regretting this."

Pete laughed, "Haha, don't get him started."

Silas stopped himself and tried to pick up where he left off.

"I guess I'm trying to convince myself I'm ready, you know, for that adult sort of life, to settle and have kids, and all the rest of the soap opera crap. It's just there is also a sardonic, hollowness to it all. I feel I should pursue that crap, but I'm also not interested in doing so."

He stopped himself. Misha was about to comment on his use of "sardonic," but gave up. Silas continued.

"No, that's not it. There is no one specific whom I care for enough to do that. Is that why men our age get married? Cause it's the right thing to do? Do you guys feel that way?" he asked.