I am really sorry ...
I made you suffer a lot .
But your words really hurt me a lot . I know ... I know it all . You are disappointed in me .
I have wonderful singing voice , why did I use it on those songs ? - you ask ? - because I like those songs .
I am singing with them because their voices relax me . I am doubtful . It is getting harder to trust in my self , you don't know that , do you ? I sing with them because that's when I can do high notes and actually sing . I feel at ease when I sing with them .
And I know , I know that I have a test tomorrow , and yes . You are right . I didn't really study . And it's 23:11 . I wasted my time . But did I really ? Music relaxes me , it calms me down . You got the last confidence I had out of me . How will I even sing tomorrow ? For you it is super easy . You were a musician . Classic music ... You always got first place on playing your instrument , poetry... I thought that you might actually support me ...
But ... I guess I was wrong...
But little do you know ,
I am hurting too ...
You didn't listen to one song I wrote .
You never let me finish my talking .
You never actually heard me out ...
But I know that you are doing everything for my good . You destroyed yourself because of me .
You stayed in this family ...
You should of left and not get married ...
Mum , they are destroying you .
I know everything ...
I saw everything ...
But if you didn't succeed in life ,
If you didn't do what you wanted ,
It doesn't mean that I need to do it .
Understand me too , please .
I know I changed after that person's death.
I stopped studying ,
I fight with everyone ,
I don't listen ,
I only trust myself ,
I am acting really bad ,
I don't give a shit ,
I don't give a fuck
.
.
.
But you do know that it is all an act ... right ?
I am only acting like that to protect myself . To hide my weak self .
I know you want the best for me ...
I am sorry mum ...
