Change is good, unless it isn't

Chapter 2

Normani scurries down the steps to the morgue. She doesn't know why she feels the need to tell Dinah she's going on vacation—it's only her third day as the medical examiner, after all.

She enters the little office off the side of the morgue and sees Dinah sitting at the desk—once again in heels and a dress. Apparently, she hadn't just dressed up for the first day. Normani smiles as she realized how different they really are, and how she still feels an invisible pull towards her.

She lightly taps on the office door and Dinah looks up, startled. Her face quickly relaxed into a smile, albeit it's her usual slightly despondent one.

"Oh, Normani, come in," she offers. "I didn't notice you standing there."

Normani fidgets with her hands as she walks in. Suddenly nervous, her eyes land anywhere but the doctor's face."I, uh," she reaches up and rubs the back of her neck with one of her hands, "I just wanted to let you know I was going on vacation tomorrow and wouldn't be back for a few days."

If Dinah thinks Normani's rambling was unusual, she doesn't show it. "Oh, that sounds wonderful. Where are you going?"

Normani takes Dinah's eye movements to a chair as an invitation to sit down, so she makes her way over and sits down across from her. She lets out a deep breath, willing the nervousness from her body. No reason to be nervous. She's just smart. And pretty. And oh God, she's biting her lip. What I wouldn't do—no focus, Mani. Focus. "I'm going to the beach. A family thing, ya know? I kept putting it off and putting it off-"

Dinah cocks her head to the side, "The beach?"

Normani eyebrows playfully rise. "Yeah, you know...water, sand, sun, yada yada. You've never been?"

~~~~~~~

They are down at the water's edge looking for seashells during one of their few free moments. The alternative medicin hospital in Mexico is demanding, leaving them with little free time outside of the confines of his room. As Tanner holds her hand, he digs around in the water around their ankles furiously. He refuses to leave until he finds a seashell worth taking.

She reaches around and pushes his hat further up on his head so he can see better. He's in a t-shirt and long swim trunks—protecting his delicate skin from the sun and curious eyes of onlookers. The last thing she needs was for the police to be called about the numerous bruises covering his body—another reminder of the cancer that's slowly eating away at him. He's getting even weaker, she could tell by the slowness of his gait as he wades through the small waves.

She fights the watering of her eyes as he finally jumps up, free arm out stretched in the air.

"Look, Mama! I found one!"

He hands it over to her and she turns it around in her hands. It's white and perfectly intact with sharp spikes adorning the length of it. They're lucky he hadn't found it by stepping on it. If he had started bleeding it would have been hard to stop-

She mentally chides herself. That's not something a five year old really needs to be concerned with.

Instead, she looks back down at him and smiles at his excited face."It's perfect, Tanner. Just like you wanted."

He turns it around in his hands as they trudge back up on shore."What kind is it?"

She pauses, mentally going through the names she had learned so she would be prepared for when he would inevitably ask this. A name finally comes to her as they sit down close enough to the water that it barely laps up on their feet. "It's called a Cabrit's Murex."

He idly plays with her fingers as the other traces the spikes of the shell. After touching each and every one of them, he looks up at her. "Can we bury it?"

Confused, she scrunches up her face and tilts her head. "Bury it? I thought you wanted to find the perfect one to take home with us."

He leans his head over on her shoulder, exhaustion clearly beginning to set in. "No, I want to bury it. So if you ever come back, you can find it and think of me."

She doesn't have the heart to tell him she'd never come back if he isn't with her; that she couldn't bear seeing the hotel they'd spent so many months at, the water they had walked through together, the sand they had built castles in if he wasn't there by her side.

So instead, she just reaches down and begins to dig a hole with her hands, holding back her tears as his small hands join hers.

~~~~~~~

Dinah looks back over at Normani . "I'm quite aware of what a beach is, Normani."

"You ever been?"

"Mexico," Dinah shortly replies. "Many times."

Finally getting more comfortable with herself in Dinah's presence, she leans back in the chair and smiles, in awe. This woman is definitely more interesting than Normani had originally thought. "Mexico, huh? That's fancy. I bet it must've been great."

~~~~~~~

Dinah awakes to Tanner shaking violently beside her. His face is contorted in pain as tears run down his cheeks, his hands grab desperately at his stomach.

"It hurts. It hurts. Make it better, Mama. Please...make it better," he forces out through clenched teeth.

She doesn't know what to do. There is nothing she can do. The doctors had warned of side effects of the new alternative medication, but even with all of her medical knowledge, she hadn't expected the ones that were described quite as badly as this.

"It will be okay, sweet boy. It'll be okay. I'm here. I'm here," she soothes softly.

Pulling him close, she repeats her mantra over and over, crying with him until his pleas and shaking finally stop, and he falls into a fretful sleep against her chest.

~~~~~~~

The smile on Dinah's lips would be described more as melancholy than amused. "It was...quite the experience."

Sensing Dinah's unease about the subject, Normani stands to leave. She opens her mouth to say goodbye, but that isn't even close to what comes out. "I was wondering if, maybe...you'd like to go out sometime when I got back?"

Dinah looks up at Normani with regret in her eyes. "Normani, I—"

"Yeah, you're right. Too soon. Uhm...Have a good day," Normani rambles, walking quickly towards the door, thankful she's going to be away for a few days.

Dinah leans over her desk and props her head on her hands after Normani leaves, staring blankly at the calendar in front of her. She's lost her heart, and no one will ever be able to bring it back.